I am Afraid
by lonnii renae
Summary: Can dreaming become reality? Or is the reality that your dreaming? Between her abusive husband Keith, her first love Paul, her overpowering father and the death of a child, Steph learns the difference between dreaming and reality.
1. Check My Actions

I Am Afraid

**A/N. The only thing I own is the idea. This is my first fan fic on this website soooo please please please review! Hope ya'll love it!**

Part 1: Check My Actions

Strangled cries can be heard through the house. Even though Keith is standing in the kitchen down stairs, Stephanie McMahon can clearly be heard from the upstairs master's bathroom. Keith forces a breath of air out of his mouth. _'Why won't she shut the hell up?'_ Keith sits his coffee down and heads up stairs.

Stephanie is curled up laying on the shower floor. When she originally got in the shower, the water steamed the shower doors and the mirrors but now the water is cold and mirror and shower door is now defogged. Steph picks her head up as she hears shuffling in the next room. She quickly stands to her feet and turns the shower off. Opening the door, she steps out the shower and grabs a towel to wrap around her body.

"Stephanie? What is up with all the crying? I'm down stairs trying to drink my coffee in peace and I can't because you are up screaming like someone is killing you. What the hell?" Keith says as he enters the bathroom. Steph's eyes drop to the floor. _'I didn't think he could hear me. I thought the shower would drown me out.'_ Keith taps his foot waiting for an answer. He eventually gets impatience and decides to speak again. "Hello? Do you not hear me talking to you? God Stephanie! I mean ever since the accident, you've been bugging out. Shut the hell up already. He died two years ago. It was your fault. Get over it!" Steph nods her head. "I'm sorry, Keith. I wasn't…umm…aware that you could hear me. I'm sorry. Please forgive me for my lapse in judgment." Keith's face softens. "That's my girl. Now, could you hurry up? I have to meet with your dad soon and you haven't cooked breakfast. I had to make the coffee." Keith said with the anger reigniting in his eyes. Steph notices it right away. Turning to the counter to grab an old shirt, she answers back. "Of course honey. I'll throw on some clothes and fix your breakfast then I'll come back up and get dressed for the day." Keith exhales heavily. "No. You need to be fully dressed. I didn't marry a slob. I married a hot heiress. You need to get fully dressed. Make up, hair everything. And once again hurry up. Unlike you, I can't sleep around the house all day." Keith added as he walked out the bathroom.

Steph considered rolling her eyes but decided against it. She didn't have the time to do it. As she started to apply her make-up, her mind wanders_. 'What would it hurt if I just put on some pajamas and cooked breakfast? Now I have to rush and do my hair, my make-up, put on my clothes, my shoes. Ugh! Where's my eyeliner?'_ As Steph raised her head to walk out the bathroom, she was face to face with her husband. "Uh, Keith. Can I do something for you?" Steph said backing away from him. Every step she took, he would take one also. She backed away until her back was against the sink. Her eyes pooled with tears as she looked into her husband's eyes. Rage. That was all she could see. _'I have to calm him down. Oh my God. This is going to be bad. Please God protect me.'_ Steph opened her mouth to clear the air but was met with a back handed slap to her mouth. Instantly, she could taste the metallic flavoring of her blood. "When I tell you to do something, you don't question me. You do it! I'm your husband, Stephanie. If you have forgotten, you belong to me. You gave your rights up the day you said you promised to submit to your husband. Love and OBEY! You remember that?" Keith screams. There is a moment of silence between husband and wife. "I really thought we had all the rules down but apparently you don't understand or you choose to make me angry. Are you deliberately making me angry? Is that what you want? For me to hit you? For me to bruise your body? TALK TO ME! WHAT DO YOU WANT?" Steph puts her hands to her side as she stares at the yellow and green tiled floor. Before she could gather thoughts to even attempt to form words, Keith's hand struck her face knocking her into the sink. "Clearly, you have forgotten so maybe we have to go back to the basics." Keith said grabbing Steph by her neck dragging her into the bedroom.

Steph opened her eyes as she gasped for air. After taking a few moments of attempting to catch her breath, she looked around the room confused. _'What happened in here?' _ There are clothes all over the place and the comforter on the bed is tossed about. The mirror that was once on the wall now lies on the floor broken. Little things off the dresser and nightstands are scattered about as well. _'What the hell am I doing on the floor?'_ As she stood to her feet, her legs wobbled and her body ached all over. She walks into the bathroom and screams. Her curious and horrified eyes stare into the mirror. A cry gurgles from the pit of her stomach, up her chest, traveling to her throat. Quickly, she covers her mouth, to muffle the sound. Everything started to flash in her mind like little still pictures that told the story of how she went from a gorgeous independent heiress to a beaten and battered wife. Steph palms the bruises on her side that lead to her back. Bruises that then travelled up her back to her neck. Bruises on her neck that then travelled down her midsection to her upper thighs. Just as she was examining the busted lip and swollen cheek, her cell phone brings her back to reality. She tries her best to jog over to the cell phone. The jog is more like a somewhat fast paced walk. Looking at the screen, she clears her throat and tries her best to seem fine.

"Hello?"

"Stephanie. I'm glad to see you finally are awake. I just wanted you to know I had to make my own breakfast…no thanks to you.

"I'm sorry, Keith. I don't even remember falling asleep. I guess I was super tired. But I promise I'll be better next time."

"That's the Stephanie I've come to love. Your dad sends his love by the way. There are a few things I want you to do. First, clean that room. I know you've seen it. The kitchen also awaits your attention. But before you do any of that, I need you to back my luggage. Your dad wants me to go to London to finish up some contracts for the world tour. I'll be gone at least three weeks baby. I'm sorry."

'_He's saying that like I'm going to be sad or something.'_ Steph rolled her eyes. "Aww, baby! Three weeks? I'm sad. We were starting to get back on track and now you have to leave again."

"It's okay Stephanie. I'm happy you dad trust me enough to go handle this by myself. So, yea. Get my bag ready first, sit it at the front door and then get started on the house."

"Of course. I 'm starting on it now. When will you be home to pick it up?"

"In about 20 minutes or so. My plane boards in an hour so you have to hurry."

"Okay. It will be ready when you come home."

"Okay. Bye Stephanie."

Stephanie stood to her feet and started searching for suits and different outfits and toiletries to pack for her husband. She finished quickly and headed down stairs to wait for Keith to pick up the luggage. In the meantime, she started working on the kitchen which looked like a group of five year olds were cooking breakfast rather than a 23 year old.

Keith popped in, grabbed the bag and kissed Steph goodbye. On the way out he turns around to get another look at her. "Stephanie, I'm going to call you frequently so make sure you have your phone. I don't need to go over the consequences of you not answering and not checking in with me, do I?" Steph shook her head no. "No overnight guest in house while I'm gone also. If you want, you can have a few of your friends over. No more than three and no guys. Understood?" "Yes, Keith." And with that, he was out the door. A few moments later, her cell phone begins to ring. _'Really? He's been gone like five minutes and I have to check in? This is going to be a long three weeks.'_ Her eyes lit up as she read the name across the screen.

"Paul! I've missed you! How is my on screen hubby?"

"Well, honestly Steph I have been better."

"What's wrong? Joanie still complaining?"

"That's always. I've become accustom to it. I was supposed to meet with a certain young lady two hours ago at the arena to go over our script but she didn't show. Do you know what happened to her?"

"Oh my God, Paul! I am so sorry... Give me about an hour and I can meet you there. It slipped my mind completely!"

"Well if that husband of yours can roll off you for a moment you could think straight and meet with me when you're supposed to."

"Paul, shut up. And I have you know he is gone for London. He left just a few moments ago. So your wifey is all yours for the next three weeks."

"Joy! I can't hardly wait."

"Paul Levesque! Stop making fun of me."

"Okay Steph. On a serious note, just meet me at Carlito's. We can talk over lunch."

"I'll be there in an hour."

"Okay Steph. Bye.

Paul ended the call as Steph looked at the phone. She headed back upstairs and into the bathroom. Now here was the tricky part. How in the heck is going to hide the bruise on her face? After thinking for a few moments, she decided wearing her hair down will hide not only her face but her neck as well. It was a little windy out so she grabbed a scarf too. Satisfied with her look and the bruised covered, she headed out the door with her script, cell phone and keys in hand.

On the way to the restaurant, she decided to call Keith to do a check in before he called. To no surprise, he didn't pick_. 'He's probably on the plane and can't talk.'_ Steph waited for the beep so she could leave a message. "Hey baby. I was checking in with you. I'm head to grab some food and start working on the script. Love you." She ended the call and sat the phone on the seat. She conveniently left Paul's name out of her activities. She didn't need any trouble brewing so she left things simple.

She arrived at the restaurant but did not see Paul's car. She reached for her cell phone and dialed a familiar number.

"Paul. Where are you? I'm at the restaurant."

"Sorry. Bad wreck ahead of me. Traffic is horrible. It may take me another 30-40 minutes to get there. I'm going to get off at the next exit."

"Okay. I'll be waiting."

Steph got out the car and headed in the restaurant. She grabbed a seat as her phone started to ring. _'Keith.'_

"Hey baby."

"Hey. I was going through security earlier. My flight was delayed so I'm stuck here at the airport. What are going to get to eat?" Before Steph could answer the server walked up and asked if she was ready to order. Steph answered she was waiting for someone. "Who are you waiting on?"

'_Great. I tried to avoid this.'_ "Paul and I are going over the script. I was supposed to meet him three hours ago but I wasn't available. So he said he was hungry and to meet him here. So we can eat and work at the same time."

"Oh, I see. Why did you not mention this is your voicemail?" Keith was starting to get agitated. He hated when his wife and that man had to work.

"I wanted to tell you. I didn't want you to find out in a voicemail." Steph said trying to cover.

"That's bullshit and you know it! You weren't going to tell me, were you?" Keith paused for a response but was not present with one. "And by the lack of an answer, I can infer that you were going to keep it to yourself. Stephanie, why do you insist on upsetting me? Do you like to get hit? Does that turn you on? Is it a turn on for you? Do you cum every time I strike you? Do you mentally scream my name in passion when I slap you?" Steph once again was quiet. "You know, your life is not that bad. All I ask is that you love and obey me. And by obeying, that means following rules that I set out. What is the rule about you and Paul working together?"

"Someone has to be present with us at all times. We can't be alone ever. And I have to tell you when I am going and where I'm going when I'm with him." Steph said dragging it out.

"And you didn't follow any of those rules did you?" Once again no response. "We will discuss this at length when I get home. You call me when he shows up and call me when you leave. Go straight home and call me from the house phone when you get home. Understood?"

"Yes, Keith." The phone beeped telling her he disconnected the call. Steph grabbed pen and paper as she waited for Paul to arrive. Sometimes just writing her thoughts down kept her from losing her sanity. Paul said he would be another 30 to 40 minutes or so. She had time to get everything out.

_**Journal Entry…Carlito's Mexican Restaurant…Moments after conversation with Keith**_

_**There is no way I can continue living like this. Hiding my battle wounds from my friends and family. I know I need to get away but I can't. He won't let me go. Hell, I won't let myself go. So I need to make the best of things in my marriage. No more talk about how bad my life is. Things could be worst. My husband actually loves me. He just has some problems. But we can work on them. So until our relationship is perfect, these are the following rules I am making to preserve my marriage and my life.**_

_**I won't be like you. You take your insecurities out on me. What did I ever do but be a loving wife? When I messed up, I admitted it. I put the blame where it should be and that's on me. I don't blame everyone around me.**_

_**I won't cause any more trouble. I will shut the hell up when you tell me. I'm tired of fighting a losing battle. I don't believe in divorce and even if I did, I love you too much to leave. I won't make you mad anymore. All I want to be is perfect for you. I don't want to make you mad because I can't handle you in that state.**_

_**I won't fall off the deep end like you. When the accident happened, you were the grieving father. I know you loved Nathan more than your own life. I was grieving too but you didn't care. All that mattered was your hurt, your pain, your sorrow, your depression. And that's what led us to today. You screaming and beating me while I take your insults and blows. **_

_**I will not let myself get to that state. Your mind frame is not stable. When you get into your screaming and abusive fits, I can't stand it. But because I promised not to cause any more trouble for myself, I will shut up and take it. All of your abuse, no matter how bad it gets. This will become my new way of life. **_

_**I am yours. **_


	2. I can't truly be sad

I Am Afraid

**A/N. The only thing I own is the idea. Big shout out to Cena's baby doll, , Sam Uley's babygirl, McLevesque Fan 1 and a huge shout out to DallasMarieJensen. Please review and tell me I suck or I'm awesome! Either way I want to hear from ya'll!**

**Finals were killer so that what took me soooo long to update! We are out for the winter break so I will update every week! Yay! **

Part 2: I can't truly be sad because I was never really happy.

Stephanie puts her pen down and takes in the emotions that going through her body. _'I don't know whether to laugh at myself or cry for myself. Whatever I do it would be at my stupidity.'_ Stephanie picks up her pen to scratch out some things she wrote when she heard a familiar laughter ring in the air. Without thinking, a smile creeps on her face. Paul! He could always change her whole frame of mind. Whenever he was around, Keith disappeared completely out of her thoughts. That was actually what got her in trouble most of the time. Whenever Paul came around, her mind was focus on him and him alone. He had that kind of hold on her even after he broke her heart driving her into the arms of an abuser. I guess it was her mistake that she made the unfortunately decision to marry him also_. 'Did I just say I get into trouble with Keith for hanging out with Paul?'_ Stephanie said to herself. And with that thought, she laughs again.

"I'm sorry babe. I was late. The traffic was horrible. The wreck was really bad. The cars were torn up and- Hello? Are you here with me?" Paul said cocking his head to the side to examine Stephanie. _'What has been up with her in the last few weeks? Really longer than that._' "What's going on in that pretty little head of my wife?"

"Huh? Oh um I was just thinking about the…" Stephanie's eyes dart around for some sort of help to get out of the conversation. Her eyes land on Paul. His hair was down and wavy. He usually had it wet in a ponytail. His goatee was trimmed perfectly. His neck was its usually chiseled wonder. His neck practically called out to her. '_Kiss Me…Lick Me…' _Her eyes float down to the red shirt Hollister shirt that hugged his chest and arms. She was surprised that the shirt had not burst at the seams. The hem of the shirt stopped right at the top of his jeans. The faded ones she lusted after many times. They fit in the waist but just baggy enough to hang low on the hips. Stephanie took a deep breath and let it out slowly relishing in the view that was known as Paul Levesque. _'I'm going to get it when Keith comes home. I have a bad feeling.'_

"Steph? Hello?" Paul said lifting her out the chair. He searched her eyes as they once again focused on him. He was met with the prettiest and sweetest smile he'd seen on her in a while. "Nice to have you back. You okay? It seems like you went out to space on me. Are you sad?"

"Oh I'm fine." Stephanie said as she looked at him and smiled once again.

Paul studies Stephanie's face for a moment before smiling and saying, "Okay then. Let's work and eat." Steph smiled while looking at the script.

Keith paces back and forth in hotel room. _'Damn! I knew I should have made her come with me. It's been all day. She hasn't called me or anything. I just know she is with…ugh I can't even finish the sentence. I have to teach her. I have to teach her not to play with me.'_ Keith walks over to the phone to make a call.

Laughter fills the living room of the McMahon-Latham home. Stephanie wipes her eyes and tries to stop the giggles that she has. Paul on the other hand does not want to stop the moment. He hadn't seen Stephanie this happy in months. When he walked in the restaurant earlier, he pretended not to the sadness in her smile, the hurt in her eyes and the indifference that shadowed around her. She wasn't happy with Keith anymore. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out. She used to love to head home and rest when she had a chance. Now, all she wanted to do was work. She would beg Vince to let her work with not only Raw and Smackdown but ECW too. Any show, anytime. It didn't matter to her. Vince of course would turn her down and tell her to go home and rest and "make me grandbabies." Couldn't Vince see she was miserable? Could he see that?

Paul was brought back to reality when Steph stood up to pour another glass of wine. "Stephanie, are you sure any glass is a good idea? I mean I'm not trying to tell you want to do but I think you're at your cut off mark." Stephanie looked at him with eyes blazed. "Don't call me Stephanie ever again. Keith calls me that. And no, I don't think I'm at my cut off. I could pass a drunk drivers test right now. Or whatever they're called." Stephanie said not concern about the "Stephanie" thing but with what the name of the test is. Paul stands up and grabs Stephanie's hands. "Okay, you say you can past the test huh?" Stephanie nods her head and smiles. "Okay then. Stand up straight, close your eyes, using your pointer fingers. Touch your nose one at a time." Stephanie does as she is told as he takes her through several steps.

"Steph, I cannot believe you were able to do all of that. Your balance is perfect!" Paul said as he stared at the beautiful creature in front of him. Steph sits on the couch. "Steph, what happened to us...to you?" Stephanie picks her head up as her eyes start to water. "What do you mean, Paul?" Paul studies her face. She knew what he meant. She wanted him to come out and say it. "Steph, why didn't we make it? Why did you end up with Keith? And why on earth did you marry him?"

"Paul, I think you should leave now." Stephanie said getting up off the couch. Paul studied her face until the realization hit him…she was serious. She really wanted him to leave all because he asked her three simple questions. He opened his mouth to protest as her cell phone rung. "Paul, I need you to leave now. I am not playing." Steph walked over to her phone and looked at the caller id. Instantly, she dropped to her knees at her doomed fate. She never called Keith. Stephanie slightly turned her head to see if Paul had left. His coat and shoes no longer sat at the edge of the couch so she was free to beg and plead on the phone. She takes a deep breath and hits the answer button on her cell phone.

"Hey babe! How are you doing?" Keith said unusually cheerful. Stephanie smiles with thoughts of her awesome day with Paul. "I'm doing great. I'm missing you like crazy. When will you be home?" Stephanie can hear Keith struggle with papers. "I'm coming home right now. I miss you. I'm sorry for the way I have been treating you. You don't deserve that. I thought a lot about our relationship and I want to do right by you. I'm sorry for last night…" Tears drop from her face as he apologizes for striking her. "It's okay, Keith. I love you and I know it won't happen again. Just come home. I miss you when you have to leave." Stephanie said genuinely speaking her mind. "Already on my way babe. See you in a few." And just like that the conversation was over.

As Stephanie waits for Keith to arrive home from the airport, her mind wanders to Paul and what they used to have_. 'I can't go back to him. He cheated on me and left me all alone. At least with Keith, he stays around. I rather have him here with me that off without me.'_ She questions herself briefly if it would be better to be cheated on or slapped around like last night. _'I can't answer the question Wait; I thought Keith was in England. It's no way he could be there by now or even on his way back. At least not this early.'_ Just when she feels like she could muster enough courage to call Paul and tell him to come back and to tell him she still love him, Keith walks in and smiles. Stephanie loses all previous thoughts as she sees him standing there in his suit. _'I love him and if I have to be hit for him to show his love then I better buy a lot of make-up.'_

But as he closes the door, she sees his face change. His eyes that once appeared to be a pasture of beautiful green grass is now a field of grass set ablaze. Without think, Stephanie turns around to run away from his wrath that is surly building. Keith just stands at the door and watches her run. That only confirmed his thoughts. She was here doing something she had no business doing. What Stephanie had not known was Vince never sent him anywhere. This was a test to see if she was learning the rules that he set out in front of her. And as far as he was concerned she failed miserably at the test. Keith lets out a slow breath as he attempts to set out his plan of action.

He walks into the living room when his worst fears are confirmed. There on the table are two glasses of wine and two empty bottles of wine. As he steps back and takes in more of his surroundings, there are candles lit, low music playing. "A little too intimate for a female friend unless…hmm that would be nice. Didn't know she had it in her! Why did she run? Maybe she thought I would be mad at her. Stephanie, baby come here. I just want to talk. I didn't know you liked girls' baby." Stephanie peeks from around the doorframe to look at Keith. He was relaxed even excited to see her. Maybe the change she saw in him earlier was lust for her. She hadn't seen that lust in such a long time; she forgot what it looked like. As she comes from around the corner, her face drops and she starts to tremble. Paul was coming from out of the kitchen. Before she could signal to him to hide, he starts to talk.

"Hey babe, we really need to finish this conversation. I mean what happened to us, huh?" Paul looks up from his cell phone and takes in the scene. "Oops. I'm sorry. I didn't know you were back, Keith. Hey man, how's it going?" Paul stuck his hand out for Keith to shake. Keith looked over to Stephanie as she backed against the wall with a tear stained face. He sneered in her direction but as he turns to face Paul, he lays the charm in thick. "Hey man! It's been a while! How have you been?" Keith asked as he shook his hand and offered him a seat. "Oh, I've been great. Working with Stephanie, she always makes work easy and fun. You're a lucky man!" Paul said taking in Stephanie's sudden appearance change.

As the men sat and talked, Stephanie took it upon herself to clean up and try to prepare herself for what was to come. _'I can only imagine what he will do. I'm not properly dressed. The house is not cleaned.'_ Stephanie rushed around the house picking up random things putting them in place, fixing the rug and putting up the dishes that she and Paul had dirtied. Paul could hear Stephanie mumbling to herself every once and a while. Keith was going on and on about stock options or something. He always had to be the center of attention and he NEVER had a wrong answer. The man could do no wrong. Or so he was told. He wasn't sold on the idea yet. Paul's mind wandered as Keith continued. Stephanie is acting funny. She had that look on her face when he walked into the restaurant today. Her face revealed her true emotions. He had once told her that. It was her downfall. With some people, their eyes are the gateway to their souls. And the same was true with Stephanie but you could always look at her face and her body language and get a pretty good idea if she was okay.' Paul's eyes drifted over Stephanie as she passed in front of him and Keith and that's when he saw it: jumpiness. Excited, maybe? Fright…he couldn't see Stephanie that way. He couldn't bear to see her running around like some second rate maid.

"Well Keith, I think I'm going to bid a farewell. I've had a long day. Steph being late to our meeting, then the wreck on the freeway held me up, I went to Raw tonight and I wasn't scheduled so my day has not been good. Steph was been a great hostess though. And I must say that painting is beautiful by the way. I like that one better than the previous one."

When Stephanie heard that last comment, she winced. _'Why did he say that? What is he trying to do kill me?' _Keith picked his head up and stood to his feet. "Why yes. That painting is better than the previous one, isn't it Stephanie?" Stephanie peeked from the doorway of the kitchen, "It sure is dear. That was a very fine choice you made to swap them out." Stephanie disappeared to the kitchen again. _'This bitch is trying to sooth me.'_ "It's not working." Paul looked at Keith. "I'm sorry what's not working?" Keith smiled and answered "My watch. It stopped working. It has a job to do and it couldn't do that right, you know? When the watch is bought, it knows what rules to follow and in yet it chooses to disobey." Paul held his head to side and stared at the young man thoughtfully. When he saw Keith smiling, Paul laughed as well. "Well, why don't you smack it a little" Maybe it will jump back in line." Keith looked over at the kitchen doorway then back to Paul. "That's exactly what I intend on doing. Good night Paul." Paul and Keith walked to the front door. After Paul was gone, Keith walked back to the sofa and sat down. When he heard Paul start his car and leave, he called out to Stephanie.

"Oh dear?" Stephanie walked to the archway between the kitchen and the living room clearing her throat. "Yes?" she answered already wiping tears. "Come here now!" Stephanie ran to her husband on the couch and and stared at Keith stared at her in silence. "You know, you are one bold bitch. I give that to you." Stephanie picked her head up to offer an apology, "Baby-" put she was quickly cut off. "Shut your filthy, disgusting, biggest lying piece of crap you call a mouth! Shut up!" As Keith stood to his feet, he grabbed a fist full of hair and pulled Stephanie to the center of the living room floor. He walked circles around her as she stared at the floor. Keith's anger came over him as he slapped the back of her head as hard as he could.

In that moment, it's like her five senses were heightened. They were sharper and more aware than ever. It was like she could see all the way to Mexico, hear the water dripping from the upstairs master bedroom, she could smell the leftover eggs in the icebox from this morning, she could feel the air has it passed over her body and she could taste the blood that would be coming soon.

Keith leaned down so he could be eye level with Stephanie. "Why did you not call? Why are you not properly dressed? Why is my house not cleaned? Why did you have Paul in my house? Why don't I smell food cooking on the stove? But before you answer any of those questions, answer this one: are those tears?" Steph slightly moved her head as fresh tears fell from her eyes smudging her mascara even more. "Well, I must say. You have done something in five seconds that you never been able to do. Be honest with me. And you didn't even have to speak! That's a good trick for a good puppy." Keith said as he straightened up and patting Stephanie on the head.

He walked to the right side of Stephanie and turned his back to her. With all his might, he picked up his foot and thrust it backwards kicking her in the thigh. He was met with a loud outcry from Stephanie as more tears flowed down her face onto her shirt. "Shut up! See, I asked you early if we would have to revisit the rules and you said no. Well I think we have to revisit a few." While he was talking he undid his belt. "To your feet." Stephanie quickly stood to her feet. "Follow my instruction as I give them. I do not want you to speak. Just nod your head yes or no. Take off the top and pants." Stephanie did as she was told. "Let's see how much you remember my dear wife. A wrong answer will warrant you two lashes. A right answer will warrant you one lash." Stephanie nodded her head to say she understood. "You know what? I have work in the morning. Let's just skip al of the wrong answers that you would have given me. Let's do it this way. I talk you listen. First off, every time we are apart, you are to call me every hour on the hour. Secondly, Paul is a distant memory. If you have any question about the script and changes revises anything, you go to your dad and let him talk to Paul. Thirdly, I'm taking your phone now and I will give it to you when I see fit." Stephanie's head bowed in disappointment. Keith kept going over more and more rules. _'When did I move back in with my parents?'_ Stephanie was brought back to reality when the belt cracked against her back. She tried to stay still and take it but she could no longer after the third lash. Her crying and screaming only made things worst. Keith went ballistic! Stephanie counted 32 lashes before he discard the belt and started to use his hands.

Then just as quickly as he started the assault, he stopped. She opened her eyes to see him standing over her nearly foaming from the mouth like a rapid dog. He bent down and spit in her face as he grabbed her hair and proceed to drag her upstairs. As if the blows from the belt and the punches and slaps and kicks to her body beating against each step wasn't enough, she was still suffering the effects from the beating last night. Coughing and gasping for air, she prayed it would be over. She wiped mouth when she felt drool running down her chin. But as she pulled her hand back, she noticed it was blood. He tossed her on the bed as if she was a cheap whore as he walked to the bathroom. _'Sadly enough, even though I'm his wife he probably sees me that way. I have to do better. I can't keep making him mad. I don't care about my body; I just want to be prefect for him.'_ Her mind wandered to earlier when Paul asked if she was sad._ 'Am I? Of course I'm not. I couldn't be any more happier...if there was a such thing as happiness.'_ Keith walked out of the bathroom in his boxers. He pulled Stephanie out of her thoughts as he put his hand around her throat. "Listen to me, you sorry sack of crap. Don't push me like you did tonight. You bring that man into MY house. You're lucky I don't break your neck. My house is not cleaned. What did you do all day? Let me guess after your little date to "discuss the script," you went to the arena found out you were off and you brought him back to my house. Did you lay in my bed with him? Did he touch the body that belongs to me? Did he kiss your lips…MY LIPS? Did he?" Keith said now scream while tightening his grip on her neck.

Stephanie wanted to speak and calm his fears. She wanted to tell him she loved him and only him. That she would lay down her life for him. That she would never let Paul do those things to her. That her vows meant everything to her and she meant every word. So many things flooded her head, so many words and thought and feelings and emotions. She opened her mouth to answer only to remember she had no air to speak. She clawed at Keith's hand but the attempted failed and only pissed him off more. After a few moments, Stephanie eyes started to roll in the back of her head as she slipped off into oblivion.

As the black faded to white and reds and greens and blues, she saw herself siting on the balcony with her diary writing. Keith called her name from another room and the dream Stephanie sat her diary down and ran to his side. The real Stephanie walked up to the diary and started to read.

**Journal Entry…Balcony…The Morning After**

**Looks like I need to add more rules for myself. I've been following the first set but my husband evolves quickly. One day he wants one set of things but later the same day, he wants something totally different. So here goes my thoughts and rules for life and marriage…part 2.**

**You point out my faults. You seem to see be able to point out all of my mistakes but you can't see any of your own. You beat me, you insult me, and you dominate me. I don't want to come home when I'm off for the week. I beg dad to give me more work so I can stay away from you but I'm always sent home. So from now on, I don't mess up. Whatever you want, whenever you want, however you want it, you'll get it. You wish is my command. **

**Don't show weakness. Apparently, me crying and begging and pleading gets me absolutely nowhere. If anything, it pisses you off more so from now on no crying. I know it will be hard to just lay, stand, kneel, squat, whatever and take the pain but it has to be this way. **

**Faking happiness. If all else fails, be as happy as possible. I'll be as happy as is humanly possible. If that is what keeps him happy, that's what I will do. I'm his wife. It's my job to make him happy. **

**Paul's words are still ringing in my ear. Are you sad? Well…**

**I can't truly be sad because I was never really happy.**


	3. Dying Slowly

**A/N. Once again thanks to the reviews! Ya'll are soooo super awesome! Sad to say that things will get worse before they get "better" for Steph. This chapter was super long because I want to cover a lot of background info in it as well as progress with the story but I decided to spit it into three different parts. Guys, I'm so sorry this took me so long to post. I wasn't sure how I wanted to write this chapter. If you have any ideas that you would like to see, PM me and I'll see if I can work them in. I pretty much have the next two chapters ready. Just need a little tweaking! Once again don't forget to review! =) Now, on to the chapter!**

*****Note: It is kind of a spoiler for this chapter but I want to make sure you understand. Stephanie is from the dream world. Steph lives in the real world. Up until this point we have been following Steph.*****

Part 3: Dying Slowly

"Damn, even in my dreams I can't have a decent relationship. I guess my subconscious is trying to get me to understand something. Why can't things back to…?" Steph sat down in the seat that was previously occupied by her dream self. It had been two years since the accident and she still blamed herself. But then again it was her fault. _'If I would have just…'_ Stephanie came back out on the patio and let out a strained breath. She flipped her hair over her shoulder and out of her face. Steph stood up as she looked at her face. Her left eye was starting to swell. "Son of a…" "You shouldn't speak of him like that. He loves us. He only hurts us because of you. Because you have to be so independent, you have to hang out with Paul, you have to be a McMahon! You see this? Do you see my eye? This is your fault. Me? I want to listen. I listen to him when he beats us. When you retract into yourself after he hits us, I come forward. I take care of us. You are slowly killing us, Steph. You have to stop now. He is getting frustrated with you. He's getting dangerously close to do us very bad. I'm at your mercy. Stop pissing him off, please." Stephanie spoke then bending down to pick up the journal. She flipped through the pages. "You know, if you need some time to get yourself on track and clean up your act, I can go out and take care of him. At least we won't be hurt. Is that okay?" Steph thought about it. A break from Keith? What more could I ask for? I get a break from Dad and work. She stood to her feet and walked to the dream Stephanie and hugged her. "Stephanie, I'm so sorry. I didn't know…" "How could you Steph? You were always the cool one." Stephanie said. "You'll like it here. This world is what you want it to be. I have Keith here with me. I love him and we're happy here. But just say the word and he'll disappear. He won't leave us in the real world though. Everything that happens here is in your mind…One event can offset reality as you know it. But then again, unlike the real world you can change it. I'll see you later. Wish me luck." Stephanie said while fixing her hair. Steph sat down grabbing the journal from her dream self hands, "I don't think you'll need it. Bye." And just like that Steph was by herself in this world.

Steph looked around. It looked just like her house but it was just something different. Things were just different down here. She wish Stephanie could have stayed longer to explain what the heck is going on. Can she just swap personalities like that? And if she could what does that say about her mental state? The sun was setting on the horizon as it painted the sky different shades of reds and oranges and purples and blues. It was...peaceful here. She sat there for what seemed like hours but the sun barely moved. It was like this part of the day was at a standstill just for her. The way the different colors in the sky blended together and the sun giving off just enough shine to be able to see the surrounding land and enough heat to keep her warm, it brought her to a relaxed state and in that state she was able to work at out of her feelings. A noise could be heard from inside the house. Steph turned slowly looking toward the door. Keith was standing there with a bowl. "Did you not hear me calling you?" Steph stood and said, "Umm, no I didn't. I'm sorry. Is there something I can do?" Keith looked at her appearance, something was off about her. "Yea, I just wanted you to make me a snack before dinner. I don't have time anymore. Don't forget your chores that you have to do. You need to clean the house, wash the clothes, cook dinner, make the beds, dust, sweep and mop. It would be nice if all this is done before dinner. I don't know what has come over you lately. You were doing so well then you just stopped. You need to put ice on that eye of yours. And you wouldn't have to do that if you would just listen. I mean God, is it that hard?" He paused and eyed me. "Look who I'm talking to. If Vince doesn't tell you to do something, you're not going to do it. And why are you dressed like that? Sweat pants? Ugh, how many times have I told you that you have to look the part of my wife? My wife does not wear sweat pants." Keith kept going on and on and on about random things that pissed him off about her. Steph stood there and took every word in stride. But somewhere along the lines she tuned him out. She was so tired of hearing him complain about her every move. It wasn't until she heard Nathan's name that she came back into the conversation. "...Nathan has passed, you have been out of control! I don't know where you head is Stephanie! It's like you're either coming or going. One day, you are the most ungrateful little bitch I've ever known then the next day you're the girl I feel in love with. What is going on? It seems like you only get back to who I want you to be when I hit you. If you would just listen!" Steph took a few steps back toward the balcony railing as Keith advance toward her. Within a few seconds, his hands were around her neck leaning her over the rail. Steph screamed for Keith to let her go. But it seemed the more she screamed the more he pushed her. "Go away Keith!" And just like that he was gone and she slid to the floor of the balcony gasping for air. When she regained control over her breathing, she stood to her feet and walked slowly into the house. The bedroom looked just like the one at home but something was off about the room. She walked around touching things to help her remember. She grasped her hands in front of her. She sat down in the living room on the loveseat. She just couldn't put her finger on it. Then she looked down at her hands. Her wedding ring was gone.

She got up and ran back to the bedroom. What was missing? What was missing? It was someting obvious but it was also hard to put a finger on. The dresser was a different color, one nightstand table, a semi smaller tv. She gasped, Oh my God! Is that a PS3? I wanted one of these. She looked behind the tv stand and there was a play guitar. Guitar Hero? She opened a bottom drawer, all of the hero games were there. Score! She reached up to wipe her tears away. She looked into the mirror and noticed her eye was no longer swollen. The bruises were no long spread on her body, She went back to the t.v. and started to play guitar hero. This is the best!

After about three hours of constant play, Steph sat down back on the balcony. It was beautiful here. The sun had set and now the stars were out with the moon shining bright. "It's a full moon. Things happen on full moons." Steph laughed to herself. She looked down at the table and the journal laid there. "Didn't Stephanie take this? Hmm. Maybe not." Steph sits back in the car and folds her legs in the chair also. She had a lot to think about. She had been trying to think about her problems all day but she just couldn't. It was so much work. The problems were so big even to attempt to sort them out made her head hurt. But she was grown woman and grown women take care of their business. _'Okay, let's start with…dad. He pushes me so hard and I can't…I just can't live like that anymore. Always holding my job over my head. I love the business and I can't not work there. I don't want my dad mad at me but my life is going down to the dumps with me focusing in on him and work all the time. Well except for these past few days. Keith has been on me so hard. He hurts me emotionally, physical, mentally. He has me looking over my shoulder all the time… but I'm not thinking about that problem right now. Back on dad. So I need to decide what I'm going to do about him.'_

"Stephanie said I can bring anyone here. So Dad, wherever you are I want you here now please." She waited and nothing happened. "Dad?" Steph said in a sing-a-long voice. "Damn it, Dad. Get here now!" The doorbell rang. "That's what I thought!" Steph said as she walked down the stairs to answer the door. Low and behold, there was Vince McMahon in all his glory. "Hey Dad. Come on in." Steph said with her head down timidly. Vince didn't move. He just stood in the doorway and stared at her. "Dad, are you going to come in?" Steph said waving a hand in his face. "Quite frankly, no. I don't see why I have to come in. Whatever you have to tell me can be said here. I was just passing by because I have to get to work." Steph glared at him. Her anger rising beyond the point of return before she had time to correct it answered, "Dad I need to talk to you and you don't freaking understand! Dad, I can't keep living like this. You don't care about me. You don't love me. You treat me like some stranger that just spit in your face! You constantly threaten me. I can't to it. Better yet I refuse to do it. My husband wants to kill me every time you call the house or my cell phone. You are slowly killing my relationship and my life!"  
>Vince took in the appearance of his daughter and rolled his eyes. "Stephanie, why do you have to be so dramatic? What relationship? Besides you haven't worked a day in your life. Everything was given to you because if your name. When will you work for your place in this company?"<br>Steph took a step back to try and calm herself…it didn't work. "Are you stupid or something? I gave been busting my butt for years now trying to rewrite the crap that you call a script. PG? Really dad? I'm not trying to jump on the bandwagon with other people but you have got to see that this is not working? Ever since I got married to Keith it's like you have tripled my workload! Even when you and mom were building this company, you didn't have this much work to do, Dad!"

Vince looked at Steph with a questioning glance. "Your marriage to Keith was the best thing that ever happened to you. Then you did God knows what to make him leave you. I gave you the day off he left." Stephanie, are you questioning me? Listen to me little girl, I am still your father and I can still punish you for your wrong doings! Don't make me."  
>Left me? Keith didn't leave-"Steph felt her ring less finger and cleared her throat. So things in this word change as events happen. She made Keith leave and now they're divorced…at least in this world. She might have slipped up but she was going to finish strong. "What could be worse than the hell I'm already in? I bust my ass for you day in and day out, month by month, year after year. When we are reviewed on the internet, my name is brought up. These crappy ideas that we have been going with, they are not mine. Their yours! But who gets the blame? Not you! You are known as the fearless leader while I'm the fall guy. I had to deal with my husband breathing down my throat. He said I work too much. I didn't concentration on him. I can't do anything right. I couldn't pay attention to him because by the time I get home, my nerves were so shot to hell after dealing with you!"<br>Vince felt sorry for her. He didn't mean to cause so many problems. His eyes started to soften and Steph could see it. She could see her Dad coming back. But then just as they soften, he went hard again. "Well I never knew you felt that way. If it's too much, why don't you say so? Why do you just let me push you around?"

"Dad, no one can say no to you. I didn't have a honeymoon because I had to renew vows with Paul two days after my really wedding! You are such a freaking screw-up. Everyone bends over backwards and some just simply bend over for you and you use them and leave them high and dry. Dad I can't keep living like this."  
>"Well if you feel that way. You are more than welcome to quit. You either learn to live with those conditions or quit."<br>Stephanie looked at her dad with a broken heart and a face full of tears. "Get out of my presence."  
>Vince shook his finger in Steph's face, "You don't tell me to leave! Just who the hell do you think you are? You are my daughter. I hate to say this but I brought you into this world and by God I will take you out. Try me." Vince turned around and left.<p>

"Screw him. I don't need the extra stress that he gives me. Now, I know he would have no problem firing me and when I leave Keith I won't have any…" Steph stopped mid-sentence. Did she just say what she thought she said? _'When she leave… ' _Steph let out a shaky sigh as she ran her hands through her hair. Even her hands were shaking. If she wasn't careful, she would have another nervous breakdown. God, know she had enough of those to last her a lifetime. She thought about how bad off she would be during the episodes and what caused them. The first episode that came to her mind also brought tears to her eyes. The death of Nathan.


	4. note about revised chapters

hey guys!

I just wanted to let you all know that I have revised the story.

go ahead and read the updates sections.

part two and three was changed.

part four will be posted tonight or tomorrow

enjoy and thanks for being awesome :)


	5. Nathan, My Sweet Nathan

Thank to all my reviewers and readers. I am so sorry to keep ya'll waiting so long. I had writer's block :| lol but I know what I want to do now so we are back on a roll.

I want to dedicate this chapter to McMahonHemsleyEraFan and Cena's Baby Doll. You guys are the greatest. :) Now on to the new chapter!

I take a deep breath and head to the kitchen. Water, I need water. I down three bottles of water before I calm just a little. Tears spring into my eyes as i remember Nathan. He was the light of my life. The only thing that really kept me going.

_A couple of months before I found out I was pregnant, Keith and I were having a fight which was not a huge surprise. I had just walked in the door from a long night at a pay per view. Paul was hurt in his fight with Cactus Jack and it really scared me. He was okay a little afterward but i wouldn't leave until I knew he was okay which mean I came home later than I was expected. Keith was waiting for me in the living room. _

_"Hi, honey."_

_"Where the hell have you been? You are over three hours late! What in the world was so important that I had to wait?"_

_"We had a few...issues tonight. I had to stay and fix them."_

_"Issues? Like what?"_

_"Umm well, the backstage area was a mess. Jim didn't show up tonight so i had to work gorilla and on screen. Jan messed up on my hair earlier in the day so she had to re-do it. And that just had me behind the whole night. Plus we had a lot of injuries too."_

_"Like lover boy?"_

_"There were other people hurt other than Paul, Keith. "_

_"Really, like who?"_

_I stumbled through an answer as he sat there and just stared at me. Even from across the room I could she his jaw clenching. I knew well what came after the clenching of the jaw. _

_"I'm sorry I kept you waiting, Keith. I'll go change then I'll be ready to go."_

_"Come here, Stephanie."_

_Call me crazy but I didn't think it would be best for me to go. I could tell his patience was thin and all I could do was breath too hard and it would set him off. But then again if i didn't listen to him, that would set him off. I walk over to him but far enough to create space. Plus with Paul being hurt, I had to help him back to the trainer's room. After they got him squared away, I helped him to our shared locker room, helped get him cleaned up and dressed to go back to the hotel. Needless to say, his cologne was probably all over me. _

_"Come here, princess."_

_I close the gap and stare into his green eyes. He smirked and winked at me. _

_"It's okay baby. I like that outfit on you. Why don't you leave that on and we can grab a late dinner somewhere."_

_It's not like he left much decision to me with the tone of his voice. I sighed and smiled at him with a nod of my head. We were in the car on the way to IHOP when Keith took in a deep breath for the fifth or six time. _

_"Hmm. Baby? You wearing new perfume?"_

_I roll my eyes. Damn he smelled it. He smelled him all over me. Lie or no lie?_

_"No, why do you ask?"_

_"It's just I smell something different. It doesn't stink, it's just different. I've smelled it before."_

_"You got me baby. I'm at a lost. I don't smell anything. "_

_We rode the rest of the way in silence with radio on low. It wasn't until we were waiting on our food when the crap hit the fan._

_"Are you wearing perfume?"_

_"Umm, yes. I am. The perfume you bough me for our wedding anniversary this year. "_

_"No, that smell is older than that. I just can't place my finger. I smell it all the time really."_

_"Maybe it's just your body odor."_

_"No because I smell it on you sometimes."_

_"Well, we do sleep in the same bed. We live together in such close quarters."_

_"No. It's just not the same. I've smelled it on someone else before too. Even when we first became friends, it would be all over your things at home."_

_"Hmm. Look here's the food."_

_I have to get his mind off of the damn cologne. But no matter how much I tried to throw him off, he would come right looked at me with wide eyes. He dropped his fork and pulled me to him and sniffed again. This time in different places. It was just a tad embarrassing. He smelled my hair, my hands, my chest, my arms. He curled his fingers around my chin and gently turned my head towards him._

_"It's him, isn't it?"_

_"I don't know what you are talking about."_

_"Not in your best interest to lie to me, love."_

_I just dropped my eyes to the table. That was all the answer he needed. He picked my head back up and removed his fingers. He just stared at my face. Like he was trying to engrave the image in his mind. He raised his hand again and I flinched. He caressed my face. _

_"Don't worry honey. I'm not going to hit you."_

_I smile at him. Maybe he is changing. I grab my fork and pick up some more food. Just as it was passing my lips he finished his sentence._

_"At least not now."_

_My appetite was officially gone and so was my peace of mind._

I come out of my memories as I walked over to the window and watched the rain fall. The occasional lightening and thunder would accompany it but for the most part it was a consistent fall. The rain is my favorite weather. Sure sunny weather was good and well but the rain, it could bring out thoughts and dream you never knew you had. Man it was really coming down out there. Nathan was born on a rainy night.

_After the IHOP incident, my dad became worried about the tight rein Keith had on me. Keith caught wind of a conversation my dad and I had. He told me it would be in my best interest to throw him off our scent. I told him I was doing the best I could. He pushed me against the wall and told me to try harder. From that moment, it was when Perfect Stephanie was created. I did everything everyone asked of me. My dad didn't have anyone to go to Mexico to iron out the details of a tour we were planing on doing there for a month. He asked me and I agreed. Of course Keith wasn't to excited about it until my dad making a joke. We were having dinner at my parents when my dad announced I would be leaving the next day to go to Mexico. Keith pinched my leg under the table and said as sweetly as possible that he didn't know I would be leaving so soon. It was news to everyone but him. Dad cleared the air saying he had not even told me yet. Keith smiled and relaxed a little. Dad then said in his typically joking manner that up until I agree to go on the trip that he thought Keith was holding me hostage against my will. We all laughed at the statement. But all I could think about was being at least a month away from Keith. It would be like old times. Before I made the biggest mistake of my life. Well not really. Paul was hurt so he would be in the states. I would just have to find a way to fill my time there. A nice strong gin sounded pretty good. Keith didn't allow an hard liquor in the house, only wine. Oh I was planning to get wasted the first night there. I went to Mexico and everything was going pretty good, i guess. Keith had me checking in with him after everything I did. That pissed me off. Not to mention he had obtained a copy of my agenda for each day. To this day, I'm still not sure how he got a copy everyday but thats not important. After two weeks of being there, I heard a knock at my villa door. I remember praying to God that it wasn't Keith. i opened the door and Paul was there. _

I head back to the kitchen to sneak another glass of wine. Wait a minute. I'm here by myself. I grab the entire bottle and head back to the window to sit on the scattered pillows. A woman with a stroller was running through the rain probably trying to get home.

_Paul came over to Mexico with no one knowing and he asked me to keep it that way. I had no problem with that. The least Keith knew the better. That month was the best month of my life. It reminded me of what Paul and I used to have before we broke up. We went to clubs and danced. We went shopping. We spent every waking moment together there at least when I wasn't working and being interrogated by Keith. _

_I came back home and things calmed down for a bit. About a month later, I found out I was pregnant with Nathan. I was so scared to tell Keith. I didn't know what he would say. So I decided to hold off on tell anyone. A few weeks later, Keith and I got ito a fight. He pushed me and I lost my balance. I tried all I could to grab a hold to something anything to prevent me from falling but nothing helped. My fingers slipped from the grasp I had on the banister and I tumbled all the way down our stairs. I laid at the bottom of the stairs clutching my stomach as Keith slowly crept down the stairs. He circled around me like a vulture. He got down on his knees and whispered in my ear. It's a shame I didn't know about the baby before I pushed you. _

_You were so excited. You just found out we're having out first baby and you couldn't wait to tell me. You ran up the steps calling my name. And just as I rushed out the door to see what was wrong, you slipped on the rug and fell all the way. You should really be more careful. He walked off and left me there. he came back a few _minutes _later with his cell phone. He dialed a few number and then kicked me really hard. I let out a blood curdling scream as he start talking. Through my pain, I could hear him saying his wife fell down the stairs and that she was pregnant. I knew what happened but I don't really understand what happened. My mind was completely focused on my unprotected baby. My poor baby that had nothing to do with any of this. None of this was his fault. He was just caught up in the storm. I made a promise to God that if he would protect my baby I would be happy to have him for even six months, just let him be okay now. I laid there crying for the me and the baby. I laid there crying for Keith and his actions. But most of all I laid there crying because I knew it was my fault. _

_My pregnancy was hard with Nathan. Although the fall did not show immediate damage, it soon reared it's ugly head. I still don't quite understand it, but the stress and the fall affected my hormones and blood pressure not to mention a slew of other things. Keith actually wasn't a huge prick to me. He commented on my weight every chance he got though. Say things like I'm lucky I can give the excuse of being pregnant now that I was huge. Nothing he would do or say could break me. I was pregnant. I was living out my dream. Paul would spend time with me back stage sometimes. Go on snack run and cravings run. He was the best uncle Nathan could have ever wanted. Dare I even say he would have been a better daddy too. _

_When I gave birth, Keith became very protective of me and Nathan. He wouldn't let anyone hold the baby or near me. It was so weird. he was actually protecting me but it was still creepy and kinda abusive in a way. He was controlling and demanding. After a few weeks, that new found love he had left. He wanted nothing to do with Nathan. I had to get up evey night, multiple times a night because he refused. It was really starting to take a toll on me. The night that is for ever engraved in my mind, I was so tired. Keith had come home from the office ate dinner and went to bed without a word to me. The baby's cry came alive over the monitor. Keith kicked me awake and mumbled something about the baby. I went and quieted him down. No sooner than I got in bed, he started again. I did that three time. On the fourth, Keith turned the monitor off and said he just wanted attention like his mother. I need to leave him alone and let the boy learn on his own. I argued that Nathan was so small and that lesson was to much for him. Keith ordered me to lay down and not move. I laid there all night. I never went back to sleep. Slowly, Nathan did stop crying and I feel asleep just before dawn. I woke up later in the day and found it odd I had not heard him cry. I remembered Keith turned the monitor off so the poor thing was probably starving by now. _

_I walked in his room and saw the blanket was place in an unusually way. I saw nathan's feet from teh bottom side of the cover. I ran to the crib and yanked the blanket off of him. he was so peaceful. He was sleeping. He was kick the covers like his daddy. I picked Nathan up to change his diaper and wake him up to feed him. He was cold and I found that odd. He had on a fleece onesie. i sat him down on the changing table and reached for several things underneath. As I was standing back up I noticed his chest wasn't moving. I called his name but he didn't move. I snook him a little but nothing happened. I raised his eyelid up to find his eyes rolled in the back of his head. I scream ad yelled for Keith. I checked Nathan pulse but I was to late. He was gone. _

I let out a cry as I remember that horrible day. Nothing in my life has equaled to the pain I felt that day. It was ruled an accident. It was even talk that he had come down with some condition that could be traced back to the fall down the stairs. I never really for gave myself. But most of all, I never forgave Keith.


	6. Woo Woo Woo, You Know It!

_**Author's Note: Sorry for the long wait. work and life in general can get bust sometimes. So to my readers who have been waiting i present to you chapter five, Woo Woo Woo, You Know It. Sorry it's rather short but i wanted to give ya'll something tonight. **_

_**To McMahonHemsleyEraFan, Melhanshaw708 and a new friend I met tonight whom inspired me to get back into the swing of things, I dedicate this chapter to ya'll. Sorry if their any typos...long night. **_

Chapter Five: Woo Woo Woo, You Know It!

What's that noise? I pause from sipping my wine. It's like mumbling or gargling. I stand to my feet and listen more closely. It's coming from within the house. Hmm. I walked down hall towards the mumbling. It was the mixture between a laugh and a yell now. What is that? Are rather who? God please don't let Keith jump out any where. If he did I would probably die. Not probably, I would actually die. I finally got to the room and my eyes slowing closed. Damn it. I should have known. I put her hand on the doorknob and slowly opened the door to the nursery room.

I look around the room and notice it's the same way it was when he was alive. Nothing was out of place. And I should know. For the first three months, i spent every waking moment in here. And when i was exhausted, i would curl up on the floor with his blanket. Nathan's death really raked me over the coals. I hear the giggle again and my attention is pulled to the crib. I slowly walk across the room. I'm so scared of what i will find in the crib. Nathan is dead and has been for years. I peek into his crib and there he is laying in the same blue and red onesies that he had when he died. He was just babbling away. Can I touch him? He's dead. He should not be here! Was this a sick cruel joke? Did someone put a baby in here? I slowly reach into the crib but snatched my hands back. I didn't want to hurt him. What if he disappears right when I reach for him? Then I'll be devastated. I must be a killer. I killed him in the real world so it would probably happen in this dream world too. But the difference is in the real world, Nathan is laying in a coffin at least here she could touch him. I reached into the crib again. Slowly creeping to the bundle of joy I once knew. I touch him and flinch. He just kept talking away so I scooped him up into my arms. Instantly, Nathan ceased all noise and just looked into my eyes. It was a connection that I have never felt before. I would never be able to put it into words what I felt either. I turned and walked across the room to the rocking chair. This is what I wanted. A baby that I could care for. No, what I wanted was Nathan to care for. But since I couldn't have him in the real world, compromises would have to be made. After some time had pasted, Nathan started to get fussy. I got up and walked out the nursery, down the hallway, down the stairs, across the living room and into the kitchen. Everything coming back to me at once. While holdingNathan in one arm, I made the bottle with the other hand. It was like I never stopped caring for him. I sat down in the living room contemplating to turn in the tv but decided against it. I just wanted some quiet time with Nathan. I won't get this chance ever again so I better take advantage of it. Nathan didn't finish his bottle all the way before falling to sleep. I just stared at his face. I wanted to commit everthing about him to memory. I laid down and placed him on my chest. I looked at teh ceiling thinking about what my life could have like today of Nathan had not have died.I decide to push it from my thoughts. I just want to enjoy this moment. And in that position is where she truly slept for the first time since...well since the moments before Nathan died.

I awoke to movement in my chest. I quickly remembered Nathan. She didn't want him to wiggle to much and possibly fall so I tried to blink the sleepiness out of her eyes. As I finally looked down on my chest, I was quite surprised to see what appeared to be a toddler laying on my chest and stomach. He had light brown curly hair, a cute button nose, two pretty full lips and the cutest dimples. He was still asleep and he sucking on his thumb. After my amazement, I slowly sat up so I wouldn't suddenly awake him. All I could do was looked down at him in my arms in amazement. He was everything I dreamed he would be. And from the looks of his clothes, he is a huge wrestling fan. He's wearing a Zack Ryder Broski shirt with a pair of destressed denim jeans and a pair of white, red and purple Jordans. I studied his face more as I try to remember everything about him. When I leave this world and go back to the real world, he wasn't coming with me. He started to stir and his eyes fluttered open. His eyebrows scrunched together but then relaxed.

"Mama! You have nap wif me? I did! And I feel reloovanted!"

I sniggled just a little. "Don't You mean rejuvenated, silly boy?"

He laughs and just nods his head. He stretched and felt his hair was laying down to the side. "Mom! Come on! Take care spike your hair! You know!" He said pointing to his hair. He slide down off my lap to now standing right in front of the coffee table. "You always lay hair down." Nathan said with a pout. I didn't know what to say. I was at a lost for words. I always do this? My heart just swelled and tears brimmed my eyes.

"Mom?" I blinked and answered with a smile. "You okay?" Nathan said walking up to me and stroking my face.

"Yes baby I'm fine. Do you want me to take care and spike your hair?" I said reaching out to pinch his cheeks. For some reason I anticipated him swatting my hand away. And thats what happened.

"Mom! Stop it!" I couldn't help but laugh. "Okay baby I'll stop. Come on let's go spike that hair". Nathan ran up the stairs to his room then the bathroom attached to it while I followed.

He handed the gel to me and waited. I spiked his hair for him and bent down to his level. "Is that good?" Nathan smiled widely and nodded his head.

"Score mom! Fist pump!" Nathan did the woo woo woo, you know it line and ran into his room to play. I stood at the door and was content with just watching him play. I feel something shift in the air. It wasn't anything bad but it wasn't good either. My time was getting short with him. Funny Stephanie said you can have anyone here but it felt like it was time to let him go. She was okay in her heart now. She got to feed him, holding him while he slept as a baby and awoke as a toddler who is in love with Zach Ryder. She smiled at that thought. He was so larger than life even at a young age. She took a deep breath and walked into the bedroom.

"Nathan baby?"

"Yes mom?"

"You are so precious and so handsome."

"Really mom?" he said in disbelief. "Its the hair!" I laughed. I could see my days full of him and his personality but it just wasn't in the cards for them. I smiled again.

"Nathan you know... "

Nathan cut her off. "How much you miss me and love me? I miss you all the time. It wasn't you fault mom so don't blame yourself. And I know that I have to go but I love you too mom."

My eyes tear up as I bend down eye level to him. "How dis you get so smart?"

Nathan shrugged. "God tends to shed knowledge to those who seek it. You seek answers and they will be given. I love you mom."

I goodbye as I stood to my feet. Nathan kept playing with his toys. I could handle the sight of him fade away so I left the room and closed the door. It was the first time I thought about Nathan and didn't cry. I smiled and said "Take care, spike your hair." 


	7. Free Food, The Truth and Sudden Changes

okay guys. I have decided that I official suck as updates. I felt so guilty I went ahead and typed this out for yall. I would also like to say that this story is coming to an end one or two chapters left. i hope ya'll like this chapter.

i also tried to make the conversation and Steph's inner thoughts easier to read. The bold text is the conversation. everything else is what Steph thinks or feels.

Reads and Reviews = Love ^_^

So I've dealt with Steven, I've talked to that sorry excuse of a father, I've met my sweet adorable little man, now the only person left is Hunter. This would never happen in the real world. In the real world, she had Steven for a husband who kept pretty close tabs on her. But here, she was free. She focused her thoughts on Paul so she could bring him in. She was pulled from those thoughts as her cell phone started to ring. She smiled when she looked at the id. Paul!

**"Where have you been?" **

**"Doing your job as usually, Steph."** he said with a chuckle.

**"Oh whatever! I do my job. It is you who doesn't work much." **

**"Oh really? Is it just me or do I remember having to write and revise a script just the other day because you forgot to meet me?"**

**"Oh yea that..."** Even though indirectly, Steven was still a roadblock in conversation. Had it always been like this?

**"So anyway would you like.." **I was interrupted by a knock on the door.

**"Hey Paul hold on. Someone is at the door."**

**"Oh yeah sure Steph. I don't have anything else in this world to do. I would love to hold the phone while you randomly do something else." **

**"You are a loser face, you know that right?"**

**"I agree I am but you love it and you know it."** Paul started to sing I'm sexy and I now it. I laughed again as I headed to the door while holding the phone to my side. Stupid Steven wanted this pretty oak wood door that has no peep hole. Lord forbid a serial killer rapist man comes to the house, I wouldn't know what was coming before he strangles me. I cautiously opened the door. There was no one out here. I looked around before glancing at the floor mat to see some bags sitting there. I opened the door all the way and looked more. Now who would just leave this on her door step? Darn delivery men! Or maybe not. I noticed it was take out from Gino's. Hmm yum! I looked around again and looked at the food. It could be poisoned. But it was from my favorite restaurant. It smelled so good. What the hell. I decided to take a chance. She stepped out and bent over to grab the bag of food.

**"As much talk as you do about that peep hole and killers and rapist, you were going to accept strange food that you found just sitting on your doorstep?" **A slight blush covered my cheeks. He had her. I peeked through my bangs to see the definition of a perfect man.

**"Hey Paul."** He looked me up and down then answered with a smile.

**"Hey Steph."**

**"Paul, we can not continue on like this."**

**"What do you mean?"**

**"Why did you cheat on me that night?" **

Paul dropped his head and let out a sigh. **"I don't know, Steph. Vince made us go to that stupid gala dinner and you were so stunning. So beautiful!" **

**"If anything, that should have kept you faithful." **

**"I know. Steph, let's be honest with each other. I'm in the friend zone."** I crinkle my eyebrows as my neck snaps back.

**"Friend zone?"**

**"Yea. I know that I was not enough for you. You're beautiful and smart and just great. Me, I'm just a wrestler. I beat people up for a living. It doesn't take much thought to achieve the desired results. When we went to the gala, I saw just how far apart we truly were. I didn't belong there but you...but you did. If our relationship went bad, I wanted it to be for something I did not for some act you think you committed against me. I wanted the blame put on me so when you moved on you would be free. I figured the friend zone was better than the "don't talk to me" zone."** I have truly heard it all. This was some plan he put together. Was that all I am to him?

**"So, you tricked me and cheated on me?" **

**"No. I didn't. I swear I didn't."** He answered shaking his head quickly.

**"No." I screamed." **You just told me you concocted a story to get rid of me and we don't need to revisit me walking in on you and your fun toy." I answered bitterly.

**"What I was saying was I didn't concoct a plan against you. I never cheated on you. What you saw in the bathroom was well placed bodies at the right time at the right angle-" **

**"And an unzipped dressed."** I quickly added in.

**"Okay and an unzipped dress. I'm sorry, Steph. I truly am but I had to do that for you. After we broke up I over heard Keith was secretly crushing on you and had been for a while. I didn't know much about him except he's a hard hitter."**

**"What?"** I said nervously. **"What do you...umm mean by hard hitter?" **

Paul smiled,** "He's a killer!" **

My eyebrows crinkle,** "How did you know?"** I asked in a low voice.

**"Well, he always negotiates the best contracts for the company. He kills people in the boardroom." **

**"Oh, yea."** I answer lamely.

**"What did you think I meant? That he actually hits hard physically?** He laughed more while holding his side.

I tried my best to cover my comfortable nervous laugh with a more confident laugh. But when I looked up from my feet to Paul's face, I'm sure I was not successful.

**"Steph? What are you telling me?"**

My eyes dodge around the room looking for answers. But the more I look around, the more I see things change before my very eyes throughout the house. There are things thrown all about now. The coffee and end tables are thrown and tossed about. It kinda looks like the night Keith came home from his trip and caught Paul in the house. My lip starts to hurt and instantly I feel liquid running down my chin. Paul jumps up and disappears into the kitchen. My mind is fuzzy. I can't quite think things all the way through. I feel something cold on my face and it jolts me out of my thoughts. Paul has a wet rag cleaning my face. My back burns and so does my head. The inside of my thighs burn and then BAM! just like that, all the memories come flooding back. Keith caught Paul. They talked while I cleaned up and when Paul left so did Keith's mind. We fought and fought with him having the upper hand most of the time. When he pulled me into the bedroom, I knew what was soon to come. That's when I tried to fight back. I got a few hits in. My wedding ring cut his face. I look at my hands and i have a bit of dried blood on my knuckles. At least this time I tried to fight back. At least this time I didn't just lay there as he held me down and...and "loved" me.

**"Raped you? Is that what you mean?"** Paul turned his head towards me with sadness and sorrow in his eyes.

**"Did he...did he rape you Steph?**

How do I answer the question. Hell, I know the answer is yes. I wish I could verbalize it. I try to form the words to speak but I can't. My shoulders shake and I just cry. He pulled me close to his chest and I slowly adjust and get comfortable. I had not know I was even talking aloud. As I lean into Paul's chest, he slowly leans back and I end up laying on his left side tucked into the couch. Can things just change like that? According to Dad, Keith and I divorced. That was also apparent with his things gone from the house and my empty ring finger earlier in the evening. I touch my finger surprised to feel the huge rock Keith purchased for me.

**"Paul, I just want to go lay down in my bed."**

**"Okay sure thing. I'll stay out here in case that loser was to come back. But we have to talk. I come here to find you bloody and beaten. I have to know what went on here."**

**"Later, Paul. Just please...later." **I answer walking off. The bedroom looks just like it did when we fought in the real world. The Stephanie from this dream world didn't tell me it would be confusing here. One minute I'm talking and eating with Paul and the next I'm freaking bloody and battered just like the night before I ended up here. I'm in the same spot as when I first arrived. I sit out on the balcony and take calming breaths. Keith, Vince, Nathan, Paul. I came here to get answers. To clear my mind and figure out my life. Now that I know why Paul screwed me over, that my dad is an asshole no matter what, Keith is a douche bag and Nathan was...is the sweetest boy with a larger than life personality. He would have been great in the business. I have to clear my mind and get answers. Nathan worlds come back to me. "God tends to shed knowledge to those who seek it. You seek answers and they will be given."

I have my answers now I need to make decisions.


	8. It's The Start of Something New

_**Author's Note: well guys...this story is coming to an end. maybe one or two more chapters. i just want to thank eveyone who has read/reviewed and will read and review in the future. you guys have be great and i love hearing what you think. **_

_**just a reminder. I am currently writing I'm A Creep and I will be starting One in The Same after I finish this story. take a look and read them. Creep is my baby and i love working on it.**_

_**Okay now after a cheap plug for my other stories, now on to what you want...**_

I Am Afraid Chapter Seven

I lay in bed abed just stare at the ceiling. I couldn't cry I couldn't be angry I could just...be. I had decisions to make. Unfortunately I had to be an adult and make up my mind. I couldn't skirt around my issues anymore. I couldn't just go through the motions anymore. I could but then my life would be the same. My dad pushing me beyond belief then tell me to go home and make children. Then going home to my husband, who would hit me just because the wind blew north that day. Cleaning the house after him because he never seemed to do it himself. Sudden outburst of tears as I think about how Nathan would have loved the new Shrek movie or seeing an outfit that I would have bought him. Passing his room wishing I could go in there and check on him. Or just sitting in the nursery replaying the time we had together in my mind. The pain of now knowing that due to Paul's lies and insecurity, he led me into the arms of my abuser. He was the one that brought me into the current hell that I called a life. If he loved me how could he do that to me. How could he? I thought he loved me and cared for me. I hate him and I never want to see him ever again. Keith will jump for joy when he hears that. And all of my problems will go away. They all stem from Paul anyway. Paul may have said he was sorry but I can't live with what he did to me. I just can't. If he truly loved me and we had a true connection, he could have told me how he felt without thinking he had to scheme against walked into the room successfully pulling me from my thought process.

**"I just came to check on you. Hows your lip?"** He seemed so concerned. How could I turn him away. He said he loved me and he cared.

_The Good voice said: But he also basically sent you to Keith. Keith, the same guy who beats you and helped attribute to Nathan death. _

_The Bad voice said: The same Keith who also tells you what you need yo know. He doesn't lie to you like Paul did. _

_The Good voice said: And Paul doesn't beat you like Keith did. _

_The Bad voice said: But at least Keith is honest. At least he tells you when you have to worry. At least with Keith you know where you stand. _

_The Good voice said: Yea you'll be standing in a hospital if you stay with him._

_The Bad voice said: And you'll look like a whore if you leave your husband for Keith and a fool when Paul leaves you again. _

_The Good voice said: Paul would not leave you. He would marry you in a heart beat if he could. _

_The Bad voice said: Would you either physical pain that heals or mental and emotion pain that has never healed? _

I waited for the good voice to make a comeback but she never did.

**"Steph? Are you okay?"  
>"Yea I'm fine."<br>"Oh okay. It look like you went away into your thoughts. You've done that a lot. I was just thinking that when we had lunch yesterday. Are you sure you're okay?"  
>"I'm...I'm fine. I just...its hard to adjust to all this stuff I'm going through. It's just hard."<strong>

**"Do you want to talk about what went on here?"**

**"No, I don't. It's between me and Keith."**

**"Well, I just wanted to help."**

**"I'm sure you did but I have it under control."**

**"Under control? Look at this house! Look at your face and you appearance! You call this under control?"**

**"Look, mind your damn business."**

**"You are my business."**

**"No you gave the right to care about me up when you gave me up. Just leave. I don't want to talk to you." **

**"Why, Steph? Please, baby. Give me a chance to make this up to you."**

**"I'm sorry but our ship has sailed and was lost at sea. It's over...period."**

Paul got up, looked at me for what seemed liked forever.

**"Goodbye, Stephanie."**

And he left. Now back to my thoughts before I was rudely interrupted. I need to get back to the real world. How in the blue hell do I do that? I clear my throat.** "Umm, dream Stephanie, can we switch places or whatever we do?**" I felt a wave of dizzy come over me. Kind of like I was seriously confused.

When I opened my eyes, I was sitting at the feet of Keith in the living room watching him eat. He looked to be slightly upset with me. And how could I blame him? The things I done earlier before I left for dream world were out of control. All I could do was beg for his forgiveness. And the first way to do that was to slowly sink my chin into my chest and wait for his direction. Keith may not be the best man in the world, but it sure beats getting lied to.

As the dazed and confused haze wore off, the events of the evening came back to me.

She figured the first way she could show her appreciation was to cook his favorite food which was liver and onions. I hate the smell and the taste but it was a small pain I could take. While she was cooking she made sure he had his pre dinner drink, jack daniels with two cubes of ice. And as the food cooked she gave him a shoulder rub and made sure the kitchen, living room and the bedroom was cleaned. The highlight of her night was hear Keith say he was proud of her. That she had finally learned and was capable and receptive to being taught. This is what she lived for to please her husband...at any cost. I came back to reality and saw Keith was still eating.

**"Keith? can I give you a foot rub while you eat?" **

He looked down at me with a pause, **"You may, my darling." **

Ahh! Just what I was wanting to here. I was once again back in his good graces.

**"I was worried about you."** I didn't have to turn around. I knew Keith's voice anywhere.  
><strong>"Why do you have concern over me? I should be worried about you. Stress from work has really been getting to you."<br>"Well your behavior is not helping the situation. I don't know what wrong with you baby. Your up and down. Loyal and defiant. Your either falling my instructions like you did earlier after your lesson or you are off doing whatever the hell you want. I can't take it anymore. I've been lenient with you because I do take into consideration that you have stress and you may sometimes lose you head and that's fine but now its not. We have been married long enough for you to know what you job is in this marriage. I don't see how hard it is to understand. If you don't understand, let me know. Its better to say 'Hey I don't understand' compared to just doing whatever the hell you want because then people get hurt."**  
>By now I had turned around to face Keith, listening intently. I didn't care what anyone said, this was it for me. I love him. His wish is literally my command. No matter the crap we went through, that was then. And this, this is now.<br>**"I have been getting a little...I was just...I've been a little out of line. I haven't been listen completely to you and I'm sorry. I really am. Can I come to you?" **

Keith looked at me trying to study my face in the semi-darkness.

**"Yes you may."** I scooted up to Keith and wedged myself in between his legs. He looked down at me and smile. He smiled loving. He had not done that in years. He held me close and just loved me.

**"Stephanie, come and run my bath water."** Keith yelled from the bedroom.

I ran up the stairs from the kitchen.**"Would you like it cold, lukewarm or hot?**" I asked.

**"Ummm I think I will go with hot." **  
>I slipped down to my knees and started the water in the tub. A smile crossed my face. What was so wrong with what I am doing? Why did I not like this life? I turned the water off and walked into the bedroom.<p>

**"Keith, baby your water is ready for you."**

**"Okay, thank you."** Keith stood to his feet and walked into the bathroom with me following behind him. Keith stated to take off his shirt but I stepped next to him. Keith noticed my sudden close presence.

**"What wrong baby?"**

**"Umm can I undress you?" **

**"Why? I can do it myself you know. Not trying to be mean but I just want to know why you want to help me. You just want to see ne naked huh?"** Keith said as his smirk broke in to a full grin then a laugh. And surprisingly I laughed as well.

**"I just want to help baby. I care about you and want to cater to you tonight. I'm all yours in ever aspect of the word."** Keith's eyebrows raised in intrigue.

**"I'll keep that in mind. If you want to undress me, I think that would be sexy and the beginnings of being submissive to me."** I walked around him until I was standing directly behind him. I reached around the front and pulled the shirt over his head. When the shirt hit the floor, I whisper in Keith's ear, **"I'm already in submission to you." **

He asked me to join him after I disrobed him and help him into the tub. I slipped out of my clothing and entered the tub behind him. He stopped me just as I was getting ready to sit down.

**"No, baby. Come sit in front of me."**

I hesitated briefly then slide around him and eased into the warm water. I didn't know what to do once I was there. Was I suppose to lean back into him or just sit in front of him. Not being able to make up my mind, I just sat rigidly with perfect posture, remembering to arch my back knowing how much he likes that. Keith's right hand slid across my stomach pulling my body closer to his body. His left hand then snaked around across my chest and leaning me back against him. He kissed my forehead and smiled while his lips were still against my temple.

**"You're being really sweet tonight. Its a surprise but not an unwelcome one." **

**"Baby, I know I haven't been the best wife. But I'm really going to try." **

**"You are off to a good start. You cooked, ran the water for my bath, offered to disrobe me. Hell, you even offered to feed me. You curled your hair. Fully dressed. You haven't been messing with your cell phone. What has gotten into you?" **He looked down at me while I looked up to him.

**"Reality."** I said smiling.** "Reality."**

**"How do you do it? I can be raging mad at you but then you put on those eyes...those eyes always got me. You can be so attentive too. Baby, when you're was like this, you're completely mine. I don't have to worry about losing you to Paul or Vince taking you. away. You're all mine and when you are, you're perfect."**

I leaned more into his embrace and relished in it. Over the course of my first day back into the "real world," Keith and I made great progress. I also found it interesting that my cell phone had not rung one time. I would have to check on that tomorrow. It really does feel like a new leaf we are turning over. Yes, he still wants me to be submissive to him and I can handle that. When you look at it, my Mom was submissive to my Dad so this arrangement must be okay. I smile.

**"This is the start of something new. **

**It feel so right to be here with you. **

**And now looking in you eyes, I feel in my heart**

**It's the start of something-"**

Keith looked in my eyes,** "New."**

**No idea who to give the credit to on the last five lines. The song was taken from High School Musical. Please don't sue me!


	9. Because of You

just because I have a really awesome member of my fan base by the name of Melhanshaw708, i am updating this tonight. if you enjoy, this story take a look at my other story I'm a Creep. It's awesome! lol

I've been back from my dreamland for a few months now. Things have really changed. The hatred that I shared for my Dad and vice versa is gone. He pulled me aside and said he had been feeling bad about the way he was treating me. He said he understood I wouldn't believe him right away but to give him a chance. I told him with how the past few day of my life had been I could believe almost anything was possible. But I also added I would be watching him and I would be more than happy to work on our relationship.

I dream about Nathan from time to time. Different milestones as they would come if he was alive. I had a dream last night he was a quarterback for his little peewee team. It was the championship game so my family was there even some of the boys and gals from work. My God was he fast. He got sacked by the other team and I freaked out but he just gave me the thumbs up after he got up. His team lost but it was still aa great game. It was also my turn to bring the snacks and drinks for the team. Nathan said the boys wanted pecan candy. I said no. That's not really a healthy snack. Just something he and I eat on at home. He begged and begged and I finally caved. But I brought fruit as well so the kids could try and balance some of that sugar intake. We even shared with the winning team. I look up from my notebook. I reread what I just wrote. _Look at me speaking of a game as if it really happened._ It was just a dream. I went to an alternate universe...my personal dreamland. It didn't feel like a dream when i was there. So maybe these "dreams" weren't dreams after all. I close my notebook quietly as Keith turns oven in bed. I look at the clock and groan. It after 2am. _I'm going to be so tired. _

The next morning I wake up promptly at six am. I need to get dressed at get breakfast on the table. Both breakfast and I are ready by seven. I head back to the bedroom to wake up Keith for work. I lean forward and light kiss him on lips. This was how was my new routine since being back.

"Rise and shine hunny." He slowly opens his eyes and he is so adorable. I laugh lightly as he tries to wake up.

"Baby, I'm so tired!"

"I know sweetie but we have to work today. Come, I've laid your clothes out and breakfast is getting cold." I take his hand and gently pull him out of bed. He walks into the bathroom as I walk back downstairs to the kitchen. My cell is vibrating as I walk in. It's from Paul. I frown and look towards the entrance. I open the message.

_"Hey Stephy? Fancy a breakfast date after Keith leaves for work?"_ I stare at the phone as if I can't make out words. What I really don't understand is the meaning. I think for a moment before typing a reply. I sigh. Even replying yo him feel wrong.

_"I'm not sure if it's the best thing to do."_ I sit the phone down and turn to get plates almost instantly the phone vibrates again.

_"Why not? Can you not get away from the asshole?" _

_"That my husband your talking about. I don't appreciate you talking about him."_ I slam the phone down and stalk away to get the cups and juice. I poured one glass when it vibrates again.

_"Well excuse me! If you are in one of your moods brought on by oh so awesome Keith than let me know when you are back to the Stephy that I know." _

_"Well, you let me know when the non insecure Paul who plans for his girlfriend to catch him with another woman so she will leave him is back. Until then fuck off."_ I power my phone off and put it in my purse. I pour the second glass of juice as Keith walks in.

"It smells like heaven in here. I think Jesus is waiting for you to dish out the food too." We laugh together. We've been doing that a lot lately. We were getting along and it was starting to feel like we were young and in love again. We sat and talk over breakfast. Nothing to serious. Just about the upcoming show and the script. Paul had gotten injured awhile back. Dad, the writers and I were waiting to see what type of momentum he would come back on. We need to figure out what to do with the McMahon-Hemsley couple. Keith mentioned new contractors he was working with. We were having a great time until Keith realize he was late for work. He grabbed his things and ran out the house.

I gather my things and hop in the car. Since we were in the area for tonights show, it was only an hour drive to the arena. I kept myself busy until the production meeting. Dad was running late so he asked me to conduct it. I took some time out to read the script and was slightly surprised. Kurt Angle and I had some segments together tonight. I had forgotten that was set for tonight. Damn. Now, I have to make time to go back home for a show outfit. I looked at the clock. The meeting wasn't until 2pm. I had plenty of time to make it home then back to the arena for the meeting. Just as I was leaving, a stagehand bumped into me.

"Oh Stephanie, I was just coming to look for you."

"What's wrong, Mike? Is there a problem?"

"Nope, no problem. Someone wanted to meet with you if you had the time."

"I have a few moments to spare. Where are they?"

"Right this way. I'll show you."

"Thanks."We made a short walk back in the direction that he came from originally.

"Here we are. Room 1025."

"Thanks Mike."

I walked into the room expecting some form a media or maybe even fans who had won backstage passes. Or maybe it was one of the wrestler's family members who wanted to meet me. Who I walked in to see was none of the above.

"What are you doing here?" I said not moving from the doorway.

"I wanted to come say hey to the boys."

"Are you crazy? What happens if you re injure yourself?"

"What am I going to do Stephy? A pedigree through the catering table? I'm fine."

"Paul, you shouldn't be here. And I should not be in here with you."

"Why? Keith wouldn't approve?"

"Leave Keith out of this."

"Why should I?"

"He'll get angry and hit me?" My breath hitched in my throat. While I know somethings from dreamland transferred here, I was not sure about all the minor details. One minor detail was the abusive side of Keith. I decided to test the waters.

"Keith is a nonviolent man."

"So you say, Stephy." _Thank you God._

"It is true. He is not violent. He would never hit you or even me for that matter." _Well, at least anymore._

"Look. I don't care about you and Keith. We have to get all of this stuff between us straight."

"I'm fine with the business relationship we have."

"Well I'm not Stephanie." Paul said quietly. "I know I hurt you very bad by pulling the whole restroom stunt. I can not make you understand

how sorry I am about it."

"It's fine. We talked about it. I'm over it." _Although I don't actually remember the full conversation, it just felt right to say. I think some of the air that I cleared up in dreamland transfered. _

"Well, I'm not. And when you brought it up early today, I just felt even worse about it. Look, I'll be coming back soon.

"Please Steph. Please just talk to me." 

I stare at Paul. I don't want too. God, so help me, I didn't want to feel it. But he is slowly worming his way back into my heart. He doesn't have the right to make me feel the way I do toward him. He used me and my feelings against me. He decided he knew what was best for me when he really didn't. He...he...

"Paul, you hurt me so bad. I honestly don't know if I could forgive you let alone talk to you like you want me too." 

"If you give me a chance, I know I can make it up to you. Just please give me a chance."

My phone started to play "Because of You" by Reba and Kelly Clarkson. I weight my options. Answer Keith's call or finish this conversation with Paul. I could feel myself given away to him. God, how I had missed him. His protective arms, his over the top personality and his love.

"Please give us a chance Steph."

I smiled behind my tears and unhooked my phone from it's case. "Hey baby." I said as I walked out the room. I walked out on Paul and his pleading, Paul and his excuses, Paul and...me forever.


	10. The Calm Before the Storm

AN: to my newest, most awesomest fan! i could not deny your request of posting two new chapter.

Check out my other story, I'm A Creep, it's also updated. :)

"Hey baby. What took you so long to answer the phone?"

"I was talking to someone. Didn't hear it ringing right away." 

"Oh, Umm okay. Next time try and answer quicker will you?" 

"Of...of course Keith. I'm sorry." 

"That's a good girl. Now to reason that I called, you know sister Dina has been sick." 

"Yea I know. I called your Mom the other day to check on her." 

"Well she is not doing do well today. They put her in a medically induced coma. She had a seizure. They had to do it." 

"Oh baby I'm so sorry." 

"It's okay. I just wanted to call you and tell you. I'm not really feeling the show tonight. I'll stay at home and we will talk when you get here okay." 

"No problem baby. I'll be home as soon as I can." 

"For your sake, I sure hope so."

Keith disconnected the call soon there after. That was a weird reaction. I shrugged my shoulders and looked toward the door that I just left out of. 

Bastard.

I wonder why one moment I can't stand Paul but the next I kinda miss him. No, I don't miss him. But I kinda do. It's just a tough situation. I love Keith and he is my husband. After all the things my parents have been through, they stayed together. Dad used to cheat on Mom all the time. All Keith did was hit me a few times. And he hasn't done it again since I came back. He has been sweet and loving and caring. Paul on the other hand is a snake, a liar and a cheat. He used me and I don't like when people use me.

"To hell with him." I answered myself frustratingly.

"With who? 

"Oh nothing. How's it going Trish?" I answered, trying to change the subject 

"Good. You must be busy huh?" 

"Why would you say that?" 

"I just ran into Paul. He said he was looking for you." 

"Oh I just left from there." 

"Oh okay. You went back after the phone call then?" 

"What? How'd you know about the phone call?" 

Trish looked at me with squinted eyes. "Paul mentioned you got a call and stepped out to take it but you never went back. He said if I saw you to tell you he was looking for you." 

"Oh, yea yea. I am super busy. I'll make sure I find him soon." 

"Oh yea sure you will, Steph." 

"And what does that mean," 

"It means this is the first time I have heard of you talking to him directly in like what a year? It's weird. Ya'll were dating then broke up, stayed good friends then all of a sudden you two came to work and stopped talking." 

"A lot of stuff happened Trish. Not just between me and Paul but between my family and Keith," I sigh "Please Trish, just leave it alone. Please." 

"Stephanie you are my friend and I can see that you are in pain. Why won't you let me help you?" 

"Trish, I love you but I'm not asking you, I'm telling you-" I step closer to her "Leave this alone. Now."

Trish stared at me before dropping her head to stare at the ground. I walk around her and head back to my office. Paul can send all the messages he wants, I'm not biting.

Dad never did show up. We had a pretty bad late winter storm, all flights were cancelled including the flight with his personal plane. He apologized profusely and promised to give me a week off and his black American Express card to make it up to me. I accepted his compromise quickly. Daddy only felt extremely bad when he gave his AmEx card away. There was no need to further beat him into the ground. While I was extremely excited at the prospects of a whole new wardrobe, the downside was I would be the last one leaving the arena tonight to finish paperwork from the show.

I had to get dressed for the show. Usually I would go over to Trish's dressing room for tips on my makeup but after I pretty much dogged her I couldnt go to her for help. On the other hand I had to clear the air with her. She was my best friend here since Paul and I stopped talking. I called Keith to tell him about Dad not being able to make it, thus leaving me in charge for the show. He was a little upset to know I wouldn't be home until late but he didn't blow up like he usually does. I changed into my outfit for the night and headed to see Trish. She may be slightly bossy but she was the best friend a girl could ask for.

I am so furious! I am pissed beyond belief! How the hell can he control me when he is so far away? Trish and I laughed and talked walking down the hall. We had just made up and were back to the best of friends. She understood the type of pressure I was under. Between work, Keith, my new relationship with my Dad and the nonexistent relationship with Paul, she knew I could snap sometimes.

I didn't tell her but my dreams had really been taking a toll on me lately too. I loved them because I got a chance to spend time with Nathan but emotionally wise, they were damaging to me. Sometimes, I would wake up and go to his room to wake him for school, or to ask him what he wanted for dinner. But every time, I was slapped in the face with the cruel reality that Nathan was no longer with me. Those damn dreams was starting to blur into my daily life. It felt like they were real. I could feel the kisses Nathan would give me when his friends weren't looking when I dropped him off to school. Or the time he attempted to cook me breakfast and nearly burnt the house down. I never told anyone about the dreams. Mostly because I didn't want people to think I was crazy. But partly because I want Nathan and I to share our secret. I felt a connection with him when we spent time together. It felt sacred. But I digress.

Dad called an emergency creative meeting before the big production meeting before the show. They wrote Paul into the show. It doesn't matter that he is hurt and shouldn't be here AT ALL... He just should not be here. Paul was quickly becoming a pain in my ass. A pain that no matter what I did, I couldn't get rid of. I stomped down the hall as the stage hands parted in my wake. I had a pissed off aura and they knew not to get on my bad side.

I headed the meeting with Dad on conference call of course. I don't know if Dad was trying to piss me off more or if he just like to see me hurt. After the meeting, Dad held me and Paul back so he could give us step by step instruction on how we were to act. It was a lot of hugging, touching, kissing. Damn Dad for this stupid idea and Damn Paul for...for...for just existing in my world.

"You are so excited for the segments tonight, huh?" Trish said sitting on the edge of my desk with a smirk on her face. "I can see you're nearing bursting with joy."

"Oh, I'm so excited. There are no words that can describe my sheer and utter happiness." I answered dryly.

She laughed and offered an apologetic smile. I nod my head, thanking her silently. There's was a knock on the door alerting me the show was starting and I was needed at gorilla. I sigh accepting my impending fate. Trish hugged me and whispered encouragement. She didn't know the full story about Paul and my past, no one did, but she supported me without question. Well sometimes.

I finally made it home THREE hours after the showed ended. Keith was a little upset about the segments I had with Paul. Lucky for me, I had not know the camera didn't perform a clean cut away. I jerked from under Paul's arm and told him to get the fuck off me. Dad was pissed as all hell but said he would make it work for the storyline. We were suppose to start the love triangle soon anyway. As a I lay holding Keith in my arms in our bed, I think more about my day. God must be on my side today. I stayed as far away Paul as humanly possible which wasn't that hard anyway. He wasn't extactly beating down my door to talk either after I stepped out of his locker room earlier. We did our segment and parted ways. No conversation not even a side ward glance toward each other.

And that was the way the my life went for the next year. Well, that was until all hell broke loose short there after.


	11. Steak, Eggs and Shrimp! Yumm Breakfast!

AN: so I pushed this one out. I struggled with the format of how I wanted it to go but I think it came out okay. Once again I have to thank my reviews! I love you guys so much. Thanks for the reads, reviews and pm's. Now The more I keep wanting to end this story the more I see I can do with it. My muse and I are constantly fighting over this story. this was a two parter but I decided to put t all together. Hope you guys like! :) oh and sorry for any mistakes :(

I sit in my Daddy's study at home staring at the ground. It's the only place I knew I was safe. Daddy was on the phone talking to Kevin telling him I wouldn't be at work that night. I drew my knees to my chest in the chair as I watched the most fascinating desk

ever. I heard Daddy making plans to arrive later to the venue and also assigning different task to different people until he arrived. Mom was softly crying in the background. She had a small clue as to what was going on but not really. Dad finished his call and

turned to me slowly. Since I came into his presence I had yet to look at him in the eyes. He clears his throat.

"What's wrong baby girl?"

I shake my head and sniff.

"Your mother would not have called me on the way from your house saying you would be staying with us for a while. She also wouldn't have told me to clear my to clear schedule had nothing happened. Not to mention she's crying. You have yet to open your mouth or even look at me."

I still said nothing. Daddy let out a sigh and stands to his feet. He walks around the desk to face me and kneel. I tucked my head even more to hide myself. He placed his hand on my knee as I jumped and let out a tiny squeak.

"Babygirl, please tell me what's wrong. Please. I can't... I can't take seeing you in such a recluse state. This morning you were fine. We had our morning run together and you seemed to be very happy with you life. What happened between 5 am this morning and now? Why won't you tell me?"

"I can't." I answer with a heavy raspy voice.

"Why not? Did something happen?"

I didn't answer. There was no need. It was a rhetorical question. Of course it was bad happened. Why would I be here than with the love of my life. My world, my everything.

"Did you do something bad?" I nod my head yes.

"Does Keith know about it?" I nod yes again.

"What did you do?" I still say nothing.

Mom leans over and rubs my back. "Tell us baby. Dad will help you."

I turn my head slightly towards Mom without lifting it but acknowledged I heard her.

"Tell me baby girl." Daddy pleaded.

"I cheated on Keith." There was silence in the room. Mom just kept rubbing my back as dad massaged my knee. "I slept with Paul." Dad stopped the massage and my Mom gasped. If it was possible, sunk down deeper into my seat. I'm so ashamed.

"You said Keith knew right?" Dad asked nervously. I nod my head. "What did he say? He wants a divorce?"

"We didn't get that far in the conversation."

"Well, what does he want to do?"

"I don't know." I lied. I couldn't tell Daddy what Keith told me would happen.

"Well didn't he verbalize his feelings."

"Not really." i answered with shifty body language.

"Okay I'm lost. Start from the beginning." I took a deep breath and frowned. I know they couldn't see but I couldn't help it.

_After our run, Keith had to go to Michigan to check on his sister. She was recently admitted into the hospital and was not doing well. Last year, the put her in a medically induced coma. They had taken her out of it but she took a turn for the worst last night. I could go because we are in the middle of the big Wrestlemania storyline. I sent him off and went to get something to eat. When I arrived to the dining room, Paul was there. I ignored him as usual and kept going. _

"Why did you guys stop talking anyway?" Dad asked cutting into the story.

"Something that was a huge misunderstanding. We never really talked about it and just pushed it under the rug. It finally came out and we argued and that was it."

"Okay, I'm sorry to interrupted."

"Its okay Daddy."

_I could feel eyes on me and I knew they belonged to him. I mean it has been a year of not talking and ignoring. I should have known that eventually one of us would break. I order a huge breakfast. I was abnormally hungry. I felt a presence at the table and plates being sat down. My eyes scanned the food. Steak, eggs and shrimp. Not what I order. I looked to the body standing next to the plates, ready to complain when Paul sat down on the opposite side of the table. He smiled and slid his shrimp to me. They were grilled_

_and look absolutely sinful. He cocked his eyebrow towards the plate then to me. I smiled at his apology and dug into the shrimp. Just like that, a year long argument was ended. We didn't need words or emotional long talks. All we ever needed was food and each other. I stole a glance at Paul through my eyelashes to review him doing the same thing to me. We quickly look away as I felt the burning heat run down my face onto my neck and shoulders. _

"So you guys didn't talk at all? You just both forgave each other and let bygones be bygone?" Mom asked with a humorous hitch in her voice.

"We talked about our issues briefly. But decide to hold them off until we had more privacy."

_My food came short there after and we fell into effortless conversation. We talked about the show and how he would win at mania. We talked about pop culture and what celebrity were doing. We talked about different events we attend in the past year. Paul told me about his time at a Moterhead concert. He promised he would take me to the next one. It did matter if he had to fake an injury to get a day off. We laughed and...laughed. We just talked and talked and talked. _

"When did all this happen? This morning after the run, right? Okay so where did you

falling into his bed come into play? Vince asked with Mom scolding him. He smiled sheepishly towards us. "Sorry."

"Its okay Daddy." I said sighing.

"Okay dear what happened next?" My mom asked.

_We ended up sitting and talking so long in he dining room after breakfast that the lunch crowd was coming in. We decide to spend time else where so others eater could have space to eat. it would also give us a moment to kinda hash out our feelings and what happened between us. As we were getting on the elevator, Keith called to check on me. I said I was going to hang in the room. He said he was probably going to meet me at the arena. There was basically nothing he could do for his sister at this point. He didn't like hospitals either. I said I would meet him there and we ended the call. By the time I was off the phone. Paul and I was standing in front of Keith and I's hotel room. We walked in and sat down on the couch. I turned the tv on, just so it wouldn't be so weirdly quiet. Paul looked at me and smiled. I smiled back and i glanced at my hands in my lap. _

_"Well, this is so fucking awkward!" Paul said laughing._

_"It really is. I never thought I would see the day where we would have an awkward pause in conversation."_

_"True, but we never assumed we would break up over my stupid insecurities and then not talk for over a year."_

_"I guess you're right about that."_

_Paul grabbed my hand tightly, bring it up to his lips and softly kissed it. And hat's where the conversation started._

"Did you think that was a good idea? I mean going into a room alone with Paul? Letting him kiss your hand?"

"Well at the time yes. We were just catching up and I had missed him terribly. I would often go back and forth with myself. I would wonder if I was doing the right thing by not talking to him. I mean I could tell I still had feelings for him but I just couldn't tell if they were positive or negative."

_We didn't have to be at the arena for a while so after we finished our conversation. we watched a movie. We ended up falling asleep somewhere between the start and ending of the movie. When I woke up, Paul was holding me in his arms as we laid spooning on the couch. We used to do this all the time when we were dating. It seem ed like we feel right back into our same routine. And it felt so good. I snuggled into his embrace but that must have woken him up. We stared at each for a few minutes. It was like we were silently apologizing and forgiving each other completely. All of the ill feelings we were still harboring was gone. I had never felt closer to anyone in my life up until that moment not even my own husband. I leaned in and kissed him. He pulled back breaking the kiss and stared at me. Almost as if questioning me. Asking if that kiss was a fluke. I answered him by kissing him more intensely._

"And the rest I'm sure I don't have to detail." I finished playing with my fingers. I had yet to look at either of my parents in their eyes. I couldn't build up the courage too. I didn't want to see the shame and disappointment in their eyes. Not to mention I didn't want them to see me.

"Did you guys talk afterward about the repercussions? Did either of you think about what this would mean for you're relationship together not to mention your MARRIAGE?"

"I'm...sorry Daddy. I just wanted him."

"Did he even where a condom?" Daddy asked

I cleared my throat. Daddy quickly stood to his feet.

Little girl, if you...if you were younger I would...I would...How could you do this? You know the problems your Mother and i have had because of my indiscretion. When I said i wanted you to be like me, I meant the good things. Did he at least pull out, Stephanie?"

"Vince! Stephanie, do not answer that. Vince, she made a decision. Whether it was the right or wrong decision, it was her's to make."

Daddy exhaled heavy and stomped off. He stepped into the hardwood floor in the hallway and stopped. "Stephanie, I'm not mad at you. I am disappointed in your actions. I love you dearly sweetheart. I'm going put on some tea for my two girls."

Daddy walked off leaving Mom there. "Stephanie, I saved you from your Father's temper. I want to know. Did he...you know?"

_I rolled on top and started to take back the control. Paul mumbled something about losing control and not liking it. I smiled and told him he'll like it if I tell him to. He told me No, rolling over getting back on top thus taking back fought for control for a few whole time never slowing our pace. I finally let him take the lead. He started to speed up even more even though it didn't seem possible. At the last moment when I knew he would come, I switched positions with me back on top and slowed things way down. He growled, grabbing my hips and slowly guided me down to him over and over. He smiled and said I won't fight you anymore. I threw my head back as he went deep_

_suddenly. He alternated going deep and shallow. I threw my head back again and tugged on my hair. God he is driving ne crazy. He waited until I was looking down on him again to speak. _

_"Let me make love to you." _

_I didn't answer. I leaned down laying on his chest. He took my lead rolled over. He looked me in the eye and never stopped. We kissed and he leaned towards me. _

_"I love you, Stephanie. I love you so much." _

_He just kept repeating it over and over. His eyes never leaving from mine. The tears started to cloud his hazel eyes as my own tears clouded my vision. I blinked away my tears as his_

_tears fell on cheek, successfully entwining them as we were. He speed up slowly until neither one if us could take it. The pleasure was rising and I need more. I bucked my hips relying I needed more. I was totally incapable of speaking. I felt something pass over_

_me. I'm not sure what it is. It all consuming. It's pleasure and torment. Happy and sad Beginning and end. I let go and let Paul take care if me. I let the wall that was built up so high crumble. _

_"I love you so much, baby. Please take me back? Please? I can't take it anymore. I can't look at you with Keith and act like it doesn't hurt."_

_"Take all of me, baby." I told Paul right before my orgasm overcame me. _

_He kissed me and answer "Of course I will. I love you." _

_Over and over, we repeat I love you through a second and third orgasm for me and the most powerful final for Paul. We held each other tight until we were rested and was able to talk. That feeling was still lingering over me but I pushed it out the way. I' m happy now. Paul and i just made love. We declared our love for each other. Nothing can overshadow this moment right now. It is perfect. I opened my eyes and suddenly that feeling I had smacked me in the face. Paul dipped his face and kissed me. But I didn't kiss back. I was in shock. To afraid to move. Honestly, I wish my orgasm would have given me a heart attack. Surely that was better than what was in front if me._

_"I'm glad you two had such a great time without me."_


	12. And The Truth Is Realized

**AN: So let's just say my muse for this story will not let it die! Good God! lol here's to those who are loving this story...looks like it won't be ending as quickly as I hoped lol hope you enjoy!**

Paul slid off me while pulling the cover over my chest.

"Keith baby. Um, I'm so sorry." My eyes darting to and from his right and left eye.

"Who are you apologizing too? According to what you said a few minutes ago, Paul

is your baby. So are you sorry I walked in on this or are you sorry you cheated on me?" Keith asked smoothly.

"Umm..." I looked Paul as he just sat there against the headboard. He didn't make any movements to get out of bed. Hell, neither did I. Although Paul knew nothing of the

damage Keith could do with his hands and feet when he was angry, I did and even with Paul here I didn't want to push him over the edge. Paul and my eyes met briefly. He silently questioned what I wanted him to do. I looked at Keith, my love, the father of my child and future children, the man I had built a life with.

But then again, I love Paul too. This man was the love of my life. They man who treated me better than any ever could, better Keith every wished he could. He was all so the man I shared a lot of first with. My first cigarette. My first true kiss. My first orgasm. We got arrested together. My first time of many many things. But he was also the man that conspired against me and led me to Keith. Keith, the man who is my husband.

"Paul, I'll... umm see you at the arena tonight..."

Paul wrapped his fingers around my chin, turning my head away from Keith's warm face with his icy glare. Our eyes connected and I instantly melt. He tilted his head forward as if asking me if I'm sure. I gave him a slight nod, barely moving my head. He lifted his left hand to my hair, smoothing it down with his eyes never leaving mine. I relayed another message to him with my eyes, he nodded and stood to his feet. Call me crazy but it didn't matter that my husband was present, i couldn't help but keep my eyes on Paul. He reached for my hand. sliding me out of bed on his side. He handed my my shorts and tee shirt that was thrown around the room in the heat of the moment. He slid his clothes on first, then helping me into mine. He never let go of my hand as we walked to the door. I opened it, frowning to see him go. he bends down put his forehead to mine. His lips caresses mine ever so gently. My love for him bubbles up to the surface as his arms wrap around my waist. He pulls me in closer as I wrap my arms around his neck. I can feel his erection growing just that quickly. He lazily place small kisses for a few more short moments before letting go. My eyes meet his again, he cocks his head to the side as if confused. I nod, smile a little as just like that, he walks out.

As soon as the door close behind Paul, I ducked to miss the first swing from Keith. I covered my head as I ducked more moving about the room. After years of behind the back attacks, I just know when one is coming.

"Don't run from me Stephanie, it will only make it worst when I do catch up with you." He darts for me toward the couch but I jump over it. He slows down. He walks around the couch. It's more like he is stalking his prey rather than trying to fix problems with his wife. Maybe because he doesn't she me as an equal. Maybe that's what I am to him: his prey.

And in that moment, I see Keith in a different light. Yea, I was upset with him over many things that he had done to me. I absolutely pissed at him about how he handed Nathan's death. But through all of that, Keith was just a really bad guy. He did what he had to do to get me to love him and when I did, he was set. I remember Keith would tell me how he wanted me for so long. How he had to have me no matter what he did. He was determined. And since our relationship was new and i was naive, I saw that as love. My mind goes back to the night Paul "cheated on me" for some reason.

_"Excuse me, Paul Steph?"_

_"Paul and I turned towards Dad with an annoyed look. He had promised me earlier in the night he would not interrupt us anymore but would let me enjoy my time with my boyfriend._

_"If I can borrow Stephanie for just a moment, there is an investor and her son who has requested to me the one and only Stephanie McMahon Hemsley."_

_"Dad, this gala is not in character. I'm Stephanie McMahon dancing with my boyfriend Paul Levesque. Can't it wait?"_

_"No it can't. Now come, come."_

_I kiss Paul and whisper I'll be back soon. Dad and I held a conversation on teh way to the table where teh lady and her son sat waiting for us. _

_"Hello Stephanie. How are you tonight?" A deep voice asked. _

_I turned momentarily to speak back to the person._

_"Keith, how are you?" I offered a smile._

_"I am well but I believe I asked you first."_

_"I am really well. I wish I could just hang out a little bit with my boyfriend and my friends but duty calls."_

_"Stephanie, she is waiting." Dad chimed in. _

_"See what I mean? I'll see you later Keith." _

_I walked away with Dad making my wait to the table in question without anymore interruption. We took a seat and talked with the young woman and her son for several minutes. I would glance ever so often just to check on Paul. He had mostly been with DX until I saw him talking with a man in a suit. His back was to me so I couldn't tell who that man was. He lifted his hand to rub his face, then moved to the back of his head, then to his face again. I made a mental note to ask him about it whenever I got back to him. For the rest of the conversation, Paul stood talking to the man. When the meet and greet was finally over, I went looking for Paul but he was no where to be found."_

Keith lifted his hand to his face, rubbing it then moved to the back of his head then scratched his face with a pissed off look.

"You aren't even paying attention to me. Think to much about lover boy?" He took several steps to me as I walked back going along the side if the coffee table.

"You, you did it didn't you." I asked him.

"Did what?" He asked genuinely confused.

"At the gala, you ha something to do with Paul basically dumping me didn't you? When my Dad pulled me away from Paul, you saw your chance to talk to him. You even purposefully bumped into me. We had a conversation and you walked off in the direction I had just come from. He went to Paul feeding him that bullshit about not being enough and not being a good match for me, didn't you? I would have never know had you not just did that random as face rub scratch thing just a moment ago. You made him didn't you?" I asked.

"When we first started dating, I told you I would do anything to have you. I had to have you. Me and only me. So if I had to persuade some low life that he was just a stupid dumb wrestler that was no match for you, than so be it. I got you didn't I?" Keith asked smirking. It was in that moment I understood how truly evil Keith was.

I ran around the table and into the dining area of the hotel room. The table in between keep us far enough away that he could get his hand to me but close enough that I could see his eyes. They were light with humor. His mouth turned into a smug, dark smirk. This sick bastard was amused at my state of confusion, of betrayal and sheer fear of my wellbeing. He was enjoy our game. I took off toward the bedroom.

"You have to slow down. You'll get tired."

I paused behind the couch and considered what he was saying. I dodged his sudden movement and shot out for bedroom door again. But this time he telepath my plan and stuck his foot out at the last moment sending me sliding across the carpet. I can feel wicked carpet burn already showing against my creamy skin. I scrambled to my feet before I was knocked back down. Keith put his left knee on the back of my head pushing my head into the carpet. He rested his right knee in my lower back as he grabbed my hair bending me back slightly into his crotch.

"Lets talk. Are you comfortable?" Keith asked.

"Uhhh!"

"Good. Let's talk about what just happened and what will happen. You slept with another man while you are married to me. You took vows to me not long ago i might add. It deeply saddens me that you would do such a thing to me...to our love...to the sanctity of our marriage."

I could see Keith's face covered etched with pain. Not of physical type of pain face that I had on display at the current moment but of an emotional type. Maybe Keith was truly hurt. Maybe Keith was truly sad that what was given to him in front of God, I let another man have.


	13. I'll Do Anything

**A/N: three times in like two days! I must give a HUGE shout out to MelHanshaw708! She pushes me so hard to update this story. i could call her a pain but i would be a total liar! I love the challenge. To all my other readers, reviews: love ya'll much :) dont for get to reveiw and tell all of your friends of the awsome that is contained with the website page lmbo. on to the flashback!**

_He uncovers my eyes to the beautiful sight in front of me. Keith told me we would honeymoon in a place that I always wanted to go. The city was beautiful. It was night time and the lights lit up the sky. From where we where standing, I could see museums, artsy shops, eateries and street entertainers. I still had no idea where we where but I knew i would love it. I could tell we were no longer in the United States though. He pulled me close, fumbling with my cocktail dress. We had to wait a few weeks to get a proper honeymoon but I would make sure it was worth Keith's while. He handed me a brochure and smiled. _

_"This will reveal not only our location but our plans over the next two weeks." He kissed the side of my neck. _

_I smile in at his wonderful, loving face then ripped the envelope open to get a better peek at the brochure inside. I gasped. Rome. He brought me to Rome. I turn and jumped into his arms and thank him profusely. _

_"Do you have anything planned tonight for us?" I whisper into his ear still hugging him. _

_"No, I figured we'd play it by ear. But let's at least go to the hotel and drop the luggage off first." _

_We arrived there fairly quickly but still to long for my taste. I had a chance to see a few of the attractions of the city on the way there. Keith checked us in the hotel and we made our way to the elevator. It honestly feels like this is all a dream. I was able to marry the man of my dreams. He helped me a lot too. After I was cheated on by "him" but Keith came in and swooped me off the ground wiped my tears and calmed my fears. I love this man. I'm suddenly taken out of my thoughts as Keith sweeps me off my feet. _

_"I figured since this is the honeymoon, I would continue with tradition and carry you over the threshold." Keith said shyly. _

_I throw my head back and laugh. We walk around the hotel room that was more like mansion. It seemed like this place has no end. Surely Keith spent a small fortune on this room for two weeks. Keith hadn't said anything since we walked in. I glanced back to him ever so often just to make sure he was still there. _

_But when I saw the bedroom, my eyes just about popped out of my head. There were black and red candles everywhere with black roses petals. The bed was decorated in a red and black satin, lace and silk comforter set. It was absolutely the beautifulest thing I had ever laid my eyes on. _

_I turned to Keith, who stood in the doorway. "You remembered, baby." _

_"Of course I did. I would want to upset you. Not to much of that lovey dovey mushy stuff. I don't think my marriage would go well if I pissed my wife off so soon into the game. I figured I would at least wait a year." _

_I laugh but I quickly become aware of my need to stay in tonight. "You know we'll be here for two weeks. I really don't feel the need to go out tonight. I would much rather stay in."_

_His eyebrows rise up "Oh really?" _

_"Yep. I know we said we were going to wait to consummate the marriage until our honeymoon and being here with you now, Keith I don't wait to wait. I can't wait anymore. I want you baby." _

_His eyes shined, "Well, your Dad had you working so hard around the wedding, we just never truly had the time. But now that we do, I want you too baby." _

_Between kisses and hugs licks and kisses, the clothes are removed and we stand in front of each other in our original form. Keith placed me on the bed ever so softly and hovered over me. Just as he reached from me, I sighed "Wait." _

_"What's wrong baby?" _

_"Ive been scared to tell you something. And now that it can't wait, I have no choice but to tell you now." _

_"What is it baby?" _

_"I uh I'm new?" I mumble._

_"Huh? I'm pure." My eyebrows rise and I slightly nod hoping he understands. He frowned and his eyes were clouded with confusion. _

_"I'm still lost baby. I'm sorry." Keith apologized. _

_"I took a purity oath when I was 13. I'm pure." _

_"Oh..." Keith said sheepishly. His cheeks went red that ran down his neck to his chest. And if I could see the blush in candle light, it must be really bright. "That's nothing to be ashamed of baby. I think it actually pretty sexy that you're a virgin. I get to have all of you just like you promised me at the wedding. I have all of you, don't I? _

_I smiled as i ducked my head into his neck and whisper a soft, "Yes." _

_He lightly ran his fingertips up and down my spine sending feelings through my body I had not felt ever. I shivered as Keith whispered, Trust me and let me take care of you Stephanie." _

_Keith took his time showing every inch of my body love. Making sure every inch of my body had been touched by his tongue. Tingles ran over my body again mostly in my chest and lower stomach region. Heavy breath clouded thoughts and words spoken. Keith's tongue swished back and forth, up and down, in and out rolled clockwise then counterclockwise._

_Heavy...breathing...moans...Keith...tongue...thoughts...clouded...been...missing...out...on... then it happened. My legs locked behind Keith's head my back rose into a perfect arch with only my butt and top of my head touching the bed. I don't know what's happening to me but I know this: The love that I feel from Keith could never end no matter what happens between us._

"So you and Paul huh? Wow! I NEVER saw that one coming did I? It's not like you EVER gave me a reason to not trust Paul. This is the reason why I would punch you in your face. So you had a visual and mental reminder that you better stay away from Paul. Now in my opinion, it seemed those ass whippings were effective, would you not say? You said away from him then."

I didn't answer as I focused on the pain in my lower back. Keith yanked my hair by the roots, "Answer me, bitch."

"Yes. Yes. I'm sorry. Please, just let me go. I'll make it up to you."

"But see when you went all soft and started listening to me, I stopped. I thought, 'My God, she has finally gotten the picture. She finally understand what I expect of her. I don't know how you couldn't understand what I expected of you after I told you out right what it was. I wanted you to 1. obey me and 2. stay away from Paul. But just like a bitch in heat, you couldn't do that could you? But now, you want to make it up to me?"

"Yes, Keith." I paused to breath my way through a back cramp. "Please."

Keith leaned down licking my ear as my body begin to shake with my tears. "You'll make it up to me? Just how would you do that?" Keith licked my exposed necked and collar bone. He ripped at my shirt and reached in to palm my breast. Oh how my body is deceiving me. My body reacts to his kisses and licks. My mind is screaming no but my body is quivering under his touch. I know what's going to happen once he takes all of me. Beatings and promises. I can't let that happen.

"What are you willing to do? Do you think you can please me the way I crave? Are you will to do ANYTHING I tell you to? Or do you want you Dad and the world to know what a true slutty, cheating whore you are?"

I can't let my Dad know. He would disown me. Mom would be so disappointed in me. I can't let the truth about what happened in this room get out into the open. What's the worst Keith could ask of me? What, he wants to rough me up? I used to it. What, he wants to send me home off the road? Been there done that. Rape me? What else is new? Whatever he can dish out I can take. "I'll do whatever you want Keith."

"I'm glad you feel that way." He lifts me up roughly and throws me into the corner behind the door. "Don't move, whore." He walks into the bedroom. I hear rustling and then talking. I here a clicking noise. Like metal hitting against itself.

He stepped into view as he finishes up his conversation. "Oh, we can't wait to see you. You remember where the room is right?...Good...Oh no, we have talked about some of our issue and we cleared those up, did we Stephanie?...We can't wait to see you...Bye."

Keith steps directly in front of me. "I have a surprise for you oh wife of mine. Actually, I have two." Keith pulled a pair of silver bracelets from his back pocket. "You are going to where these to night. We are going to have some fun tonight. We'll see just how sorry you truly are."

Shit, the old Keith is back.


	14. You are going to love what we do to you

**A/N: This one was hard to push out. I'm in need of my muse for these next couple of chapters. big shout out to readers and reviews. sorry for any typos. typed this kinda late. hope i am spreading awesomeness! lol you can follow me on twitter if you want. i just randomly rant about wrestling but my bio is probably the funniest thing you're read. follow me lonnii_renae**

"You told me all of that information without answering my question."

"I did. You just weren't listen." I answered with an edge in my voice.

"I don't want cryptic codes. Paul did not wear a condom did he?"

"No ma'am."

"Although it is not effective, did he at least withdraw?"

I sit in silence. I don't really want to have this conversation with her. It's really none of her business.

"Marie, did he pull out?! Please don't make me get vulgar with you!"

"No! Okay! No, he didn't. He came in me. There are you happy. I fucking told you."

"There is no need to get pissy with me when you fucked up your marriage."

"It was fucked up before this. You were so busy doing whatever you were doing where you didn't notice the pain I was going through. The pain Keith put me through."

"Stephanie, don't raise your voice at your Mother. She is just concerned. And Linda, stop being so condescending. Everyone makes mistakes, including you and I. We can't judge Stephanie because of a decision she made."

"Thanks Daddy."

"What was so bad that you couldn't work it out?" Linda asked adjusting her attitude.

"Keep listening to my story Mom. Just...keep listening."

_Keith said as he yanked me to my feet by my sore arms. They have only been handcuffed behind me for a few moments but jeez the pain that's shooting through my shoulder like a mother. I try to wring wrist like I seen a wrestler do before. My mind wanders to the guy I saw a few months back in the indy's. He had a funny little name, dirty blond hair, a tattered look complete with piercings and tattoos. T true bad boy at heart, a real punk. Dad would never think of signing someone like him but I thought he was pretty cool. _

_Coming out of my thoughts, my face was introduced to the wall at lighting face speed. I fall against the wall with a grunt slowly slipping down it as well. _

_"Of all the time to glaze out on me, you pick now? The moment when you are completely at my mercy. Damn, you are one crazy woman!" Keith said laughing. But just as quickly as he started laughing, he cut it off dry just as quick. "Did you out of Paul?"_

_I look to him amused. "I think I glazed him well enough. And if you look in my shorts, you'll find his glaze too."_

_As so as the words left my mouth, he slapped my mouth so hard I was spitting blood. I know I should be scared of Keith but part of me just wants to fuck with him. Like I said, an ass whooping I can take. A slap is nothing. _

_I spit blood on carpet, "You may wanna check your pillow too. When he did a came in my mouth earlier, I missed a little." I laughed._

_Keith whirls around to look at the bed. His eyes shined with a mixture of fright and disgust. He slowly turned back to me as I was ending the good laugh at his expense. He grabs me by my hair and yank me toward the middle of the living room. _

_"What changed in you? Just a moment ago, you were scared shitless, now you're making jokes and laughing. Does it look like I'm in a joking mood? But that's okay. When our special guest gets here, I'll be more in a jovial mood."_

_My eyes shift towards the door. I forgot about that. I figured I'd just have a little fun with Keith but when the second variable arrived, i would be out numbered. I weighted my options while looking at Keith. Until he gave me a reason to serious care, then I wouldn't. I'm used to this shit. Well, he hasn't done it for almost a year and a half but it was always there. The looks he would try and conceal, the extra tight hand holding or the overprotective gestures here and there. The "you better" comments hidden in between ore meaningful conversation. He has always be the douche bag I know he as, he just hid it. _

"So what are you tell us about Keith, Stephanie? Are you saying what I think you're saying?" Dad asked with worried tone. I wanted to look him in the eyes and reassure him but I couldn't I just couldn't see the shame in his eyes.

_Keith backhand me, making me spit even more blood. "Do I have you're attention now?" I just glared at him in frustration. He raised his hand and slapped my face the opposite way. "Do I have your attention now?" I take in a gasp of air. That one really hurt. My face is violently pushed the up making my neck crack. "Do I have your attention now?" _

_"Yes."_

_"Good. Let's talk a little while we wait for our company. You asked me earlier about the gala dinner. You wanna talk know the truth?"_

_"Yes, i do actually."_

_"From the moment i first seen you, your body called out to me. You don't know this but i first seen you at you parent's home one summer. The summer after you graduated to be exact. You were stretched out on a blanket laying next to the pool. You had a bottle of wine resting in a n ice chest next to you and a glass in your hand. You turned over and unhooked your bra, sliding it off and laying stomach down. I guess to let the sun tan your back. _

_You swept your hair to the side and faced the pool. I couldn't see you sweet face anymore," he said gently lifting my chin so my eyes could meet his, "but I dreamed of your sweet lips and you beautiful tanned body for months. _

_I dropped hints here and there to different people that I thought you were pretty. But to my amazement, I received word that you were dating Paul. The same Paul who was a womanizing, Shawn Michaels tag along loser. Not only were you dating him, but had been more sometime. Never mind he was not in your league, he wasn't even close. But that's who you wanted. Or at least who you thought you wanted. _

_I decided I had to put my plan in motion. I had to time it just right so it wouldn't look suspicious. I made sure first that I had meet you face to face. That was the hardest of all my task. You were a busy woman. But nevertheless, I made it happen. Do you remember?"_

_I squeeze my eyes shut and try to think back. I'm drawing a blank really. "Umm...was it at a party?" _

_Keith smiles, "Actually it was. The party after In Your House. We talked for a few minutes about the Boston football game where they won in the last 30 seconds."_

_"Oh, yea. I remember."_

_"But see, just meeting you would not be enough. I had to get you away from Paul. And oh the luck when Vince had you intern in my department. That gave me a reason to talk to you and find work for you to do in my office. Do you remember that mini crisis we had over the building contracts for the next Raw that came up missing?"_

_I narrow my eyes in his directions as he starts to laugh. "I had to stay up all night and rewrite those!"_

_"And who just so happen to be there to offer assistance with the rewrite and even offered to take you out breakfast when we were finish. I had to do something to get more time with you. And it worked didn't it._

_Now I'm sure you are itching to know what happen at the gala so I'll get to that juicy story. When I heard you would be attending the gala, I was overly excited. I couldn't contain my excitement for getting to be by your side all night. No interruptions, except for when you need to go and do a meet and greet or talk business. But other than that, you would be all mine. But when I arrived to the event, imagine my surprise when I see Paul tagging along with you. I waited all night hoping Paul would branch away to go hang out with his druggie friends but to my dismay he never did. _

_But ahh! When you Dad went to get you for a meet and greet I saw my chance. I could at least hold a quick conversation with you with out doofus. And I successed at that. But that didn't satisfy my need. I need more of you and as long as Paul was your boyfriend, I wouldn't have that. _

_When you were deep in conversation, I went to Paul and struck up a conversation. I made sure he understood his career was on depending upon how the night ended. I suggested a few things for him to do to make himself scarce as it pertain to you. And all it took was telling him, that a high school graduate who had no other skill other than beating other grown men head's in would be a blemish on this company. Surely he wanted to keep the company sacred. He ate it up. Even started agreeing with me. Saying he was a little uncomfortable when he was at company parties with you. _

_Michael's wife offered to help settle some business. I offered her Paul on a silver platter. Paul being the pussy he is turned her down but asked her to stage a fake make out session with you to find him. And the rest, as they say, is history. Keith finished with a wicked grin._

_"So you played me by helping Paul play me?"_

_"That is correct my dear."_

_"You are truly a piece of grade Z shit. You, Keith, are a waste of the space you take up-"_

_Keith back slapped me then kicked my side. "You should really be careful what you say to me. I'm the one on control here."_

_"If you say so Keith. There is nothing you can do to hurt me anymore. You have physically hurt me, mentally hurt me, emotionally hurt me. But in yet, you think you can continue in this manner and scare me more. What else can you do that would be worse than what you have not done to me already?"_

_Keith raised his foot with furious eyes but the knock at the door save my face and what other body part he was going to attack. And boy was I thankful. Keith bent down and looked me directly into my eyes. "Oh, how the fun is getting ready to begin." _

_Keith slapped me anyway knocking me to the floor. Honestly, I'm scared shitless of Keith, but damn it those slaps were slowly pissing me off. _

_"Thank you so much for coming!"_

_"The pleasure is all mine. Trust me." _

_Because my hands were still cuffed, I could get back up. I just laid there waiting from Keith to come back. Keith pulled me up by my hair to my feet. Once I was standing, he took his tie off and tied it around my eyes._

_"Keith, I can't-" Something hard came into contact with my stomach, driving all the wind out of me and knocking me back to my knees gasping. _

_"I didn't give you permission to talk. Listen up Stephanie because this is the first and last time I'm going to say this." His hands grasped at my chest and sensitive area. I grunted in response. "You are going to do everything I want you to do. And I mean EVERYTHING. Let us not forget the promise you made me earlier. Is that clear? And to be all honest," Keith leaned into my ear and whispered, "even if you fight, I'm going to take it anyway. And my guest of honor, loves to see a bitch put in her place. Is that right?" Keith asked. "Meet our guest of honor for the night, Caroline. You remember her don't you?_

_"You bitch!" I scream. "You were in on it too?"_

_"I couldn't turn down Keith's offer. Not to mention his cock."_

_I stare at Keith and Caroline as they swap spit in front of me. Keith just keeps getting darker. Keith is cheating on me with Michael's wife? How despicable! _

_"You are going to love what we do to you." Keith said walking towards me_


	15. Closer to my Dreams

**A/N: so i'm going over the dark side all of a sudden. it my muse pushing me there. I'll try not to hurt Steph to bad lol also the lyrics referenced in this chapter is Closer by Goaple. you should take a listen so you can get the feel of the scene. :) also make note I have changed the rating for now. I see thing happening that younger audience should not read. sorry for any typos. and thank all mu readers and reviews once again. MelHenshaw, you wearing me out! lol now on to the next installment of the young world as it turns day by day with all the children at general hospital of our lives. -see what I did there lol**

"Go and get ready for me in the bedroom baby." Caroline kinda skipped off licking her lips. Keith followed her hips until she disappeared behind the bedroom door. Keith left me on kneeling on the floor and took a seat on the nearby couch. "Crawl to me, baby."

I turn to him and roll my eyes. "Which one of us is baby? Because based on what you just said, Caroline is your baby...Fuck off Keith."

Keith's boisterous laugh filled the room. "Damn you are a spit fire today. Even more so than usual. I guess that loser rubbed off on you earlier." I smile and open my mouth to make a comment when he puts his hands up laughing evilly , "Don't comment. Come on, now. Come to me baby."

I'm not moving from this spot. If he thinks he can just bring some bitch in here and expect me to play along, he really is certifiable crazy. If he wants me, he can come and get me. I'm not going to help him achieve whatever is floating inside that head of his.

"I'll unhook your cuffs." He said is a sing-a-long voice.

I weighted my option for a quick second..."Sold." I went crawling to him on my knees with a smile. I turned at an angle so he could reach the cuffs.

"What's the magic word?" He said with a shit eating grin.

My eyes rolling into the back of my head, "Please."

"Whoo, such manners today. Now we are getting somewhere." He pushed my head onto his lap , making me bend over his knee. "Let's talk before I uncuff you. When we first started dating, I told you to be with me you would have to listen to me when I tell you something. You agree that you could do that. What happened when you lied about that speeding ticket? What did I do about that?"

I turned my head to look at him. Surely, even he wouldn't think that's smart. Did he really think doing that would save us? Save me from leaving him? He shoved his hands in between the waistband my shorts and my hip, pushing the shorts down to my knees.

"Keith, please don't." I said trying to get away from him and what was coming next. My face already turn a bright red. But his grip was to tight for me to squeeze my way out of.

"Ah, come on. What happened to all that talk from earlier? 'What's the hurt? You're used to it.' This is for my sick satisfaction." He said with a creepy smile. "Our relationship worked well when I would spank you. But no, you had to screw up the dynamic."

His hand lifted away from me and came down with enough force to knock the Earth of it's axle. I gasp as the tears well up, burning my eyes like onions would.

"You are the reason why our domestic discipline relationship didn't work."

"People make mistakes." I scream in pain. His hand still swing relentlessly.

"That they do but go they go off partying with some guy and his rowdy friends? Do they go to strip clubs? Do they sit on other men and women's laps? Do they feed other people and let strippers feed them? Do they get drunk off their ass and start stripping? Do they stay out all night long and all day then come back home as if nothing happened?" Keith said making sure to smack me at least twice for every word he said.

"That was a character I played. That was for the Run DMC video. You knew I had to do that?" I moaned in pain.

"Oh, so Vince thought that was a proper way for his MARRIED daughter to act? Vince told you to get drunk, strip and not come home? Because if so, he needs his ass kicked too." Keith yelled still raining down spanks.

_**Closer to my dreams...**_

I tried to fight this whole event. The spanking the scolding, everything but it just wasn't working. My eyes blurry with tears and confusion but peace at the same time. This thing creeping over me is not what I want. It's not the position I want to be in. I can't let Keith manipulate me. The more I fought to stay in control the faster Keith went. The speed increased and so did the force.

_**Feels so close it's like strange...  
>I can feel my dreams...<br>I'm moving closer...**_

"Don't fight it baby. That's you're problem. Don't fight the pain. Take it, breath it in." Keith coaxed me. Keith's pants leg was wet from my tears and so was the couch. My eyes started to slowly droop, my breath evened out. The more pain he dished out on my butt the calmer I became. My body became limp and slowly my head became to heavy to hold up so I just laid it down against Keith's stomach. That's a good little girl. Such a good girl. I can feel Keith still spanking me but the pain isn't registered.

_**Close your eyes and see what you believe...**_

It just happens with my eyes closing. Keith strokes my lower back and butt with loving and erotic squeezes and pats. "I'm very proud of you Stephanie. Now was that very hard? It wasn't that hard at all. Just let us love you baby. We'll take good care of you. You would like wouldn't you?" I sure hope his question is rhetorical. I'm not in much of a mood to talk. I just want yo exist involuntarily for a while. I want to go on autopilot.

_**Sometimes it feels like you never gone change  
>But you never choose to walk away.<strong>_

I close my eyes and sway to the speed of Keith's hand. Going higher and higher the more he spanks. I float away farther and father away from this world.

He releases my wrist and lifts me into his lap. kissing me. "How do you feel baby?" I just slowly blink at him then smile dreamingly, "I feel like...like..good...centered."

"That's what I was wanting to achieve." He said standing to his feet then pulling me uo with him. "Now that you are more receptive and ready to fall into submission with what your husbands wants, I think we can truly begin. We walk into the bedroom with Caroline laying in the center of the bed on her back in a leather outfit. She sits up and licks her lips at me.

"You said you would do anything to make it up to me. I hope that involves anyone as well." He said as he closed the bedroom door behind us.


	16. Not As Much Fun As I'm About to Have

**A/N: not entirely happy about this chapter the more detail i wanted to add the more lost i became. i just suck at scenes like this. i hope you like and it setting up for the chapter everyone has been waiting on. it coming don't worry! sorry for typos and enjoy!**

Caroline slid herself off the bead and stood in front of me with heavy eyes. "I have been waiting for you, Stephanie. I have been waiting so long." She runs the back of her hand down my arm.

My breath hitches in my chest. "I've been waiting for you too." I reply closing the gap between her and I quickly. I lean in for a kiss just as Keith grabs a hand full of hair and pulls me back.

"Naughty, naughty. You know how the game goes. Do you just take without asking?" He sneered.

"No. I'm sorry." I pause then turn to look Keith in the eye. "Can I kiss her, please?"

"Ask her yourself."

"Yes you may." She purrs. I wait this time for Keith to release his grip on my hair. I approach Caroline and kiss along her jawline starting by her ear. When I reach the middle part of her face just under her lips, I head under the chin onto her neck and chest. I make my way back around leaving a soft, sweet, damp trail back up her neck ending on her lips. Caroline grabs the roundness of my butt and pulls me closer to her deepening the kiss.

I feel Keith stand closely behind me rubbing my sides and my lady area. "Hmm, so wet already. Was it the spanking or you kissing another woman?"

Caroline breaks the kiss leading her kisses to my neck. "It was the spanking." Caroline bit my neck introducing me to the love induced pain.

"It was what?" She asked as she left more bite marks along my neck.

"I meant it was you Caroline." Keith spanks my butt in an extremely sore spot and ask, "So it takes a woman to get you hot? Your husband isn't good enough for you anymore." He reached around and grabbed my neck squeezing. "I'm not good enough. You need a woman to kiss over you and take your body for you to get pleasure?"

"N-no." I stuttered. "Your spanking was what had me-"

Caroline bits the back part of my arm really hard, "Who made you wet?"

"Umm-"

"You better not change you mind on me." Keith said as he tightened his grip on my neck.

Caroline made a trail down my arm onto my back with bite marks. "Who was it baby?" Keith whisper on my ear squeezing tighter. The room begin a slight spin with blurriness.

"Uhhh-" My knees went weak as I slowly slipped away. Keith let go of my neck letting me fall to the ground on my knees gasping for air. Caroline walked around me and hugged Keith from the side with a smile. "Mindfucked!" She said laughing.

"And in such a perfect position to service me. Suck." He said pointing.

I was still trying to clear my head of all the clouds I was seeing and Caroline hitting me on the back of my head and screaming wasn't helping. "Do it, whore! It's not that hard. Open your mouth and swallow." She said push my head into Keith's crotch.

They made out above me as I pleasured Keith. He tugged at Caroline's leather g-string pushing it own and tell her to step out of it. He pushed me off of him forcefully looking toward me, "Hope you're hungry." He turned to Caroline, "Go lay down baby." He grabbed me by my hair after she was in place and guided my head in between her thighs. "I'm sure you remember what to do."

He sat against the headboard to get a good view. Caroline pushed my head down, "Put your tongue out. Don't move unless I direct you head." She got a good handful of hair and move my head up and down, left and right, then around clockwise then counterclockwise. "Write you alphabet with you tongue on my clit." She moaned.

I just did as she told me. My job was to please Caroline and Keith. I did what Keith asked of me. That was my job as his wife. To love. To honor. To obey. If I had to lick Caroline's clit until I turned blue, I would.

Caroline's moans steadily rose higher and higher. They were sometimes silenced with Keith kissing her or telling her how beautiful she look dominating me. He didn't say anything to me but that was a good thing. I was doing a good job if he was focused on her.

Keith rolled of the bed so stiff, he could jackhammer for a living. "It's been a while since I was this hard. It's just what you do to me Caroline."

"Oh yea? Fuck that slut and satisfy me then?"

"In which hole?" He asked.

I glanced between my eyelashes at Caroline as she answered, "Oh her ass. She misses it from last time don't you?" I nod in agreeance to her statement.

Keith pumped himself a few times, spit on me then slid in still mostly dry still. "Ohhh. She is tight. It's been a while, hasn't it?" Keith moaned. He found his pace fairly quickly. Every time he pushed into me, I knocked into Caroline, thus producing moans from her. I was focused on Keith behind me until Caroline picked my head up and slapped me around the eye area. "You missed F, I and L you stupid fuck. Start over!" She pushed my head down and I started over.

I didn't anticipate Keith hard push into me so soon after adjusting my head. My teeth brushed against Caroline clit and she was not happy about it. "Ugh!" She picked my head up again and slapped it, "That was my clit you took a bite of bitch. Try it again. If you mess up again, I won't be so nice." She shoved my head down again.

I took a deep breath and tried to stabilize myself. I was doing a horrible job. If Caroline wasn't happy than Keith wouldn't be happy. I focused closer on my movements between Caroline and Keith and focused on my letters so I wouldn't skip either.

"Faster." Caroline propped herself up on her elbows to look down on me. She move her hips along with the thrust from Keith. "Faster!" She screamed.

Her moans picked up in frequency and volume. Keith started to pump faster. I moaned into Caroline, stopping briefly to get used to Keith's new pace.

"You're sloppy tonight. Don't stop you idiot." Caroline screamed with a thunderous slap. She pushed my face back down saying, "Don't stop this time whore."

Keith slapped my back and said, "Bad bad Stephanie. You only get pleasure when you give it." He pulled away from me and went stand on the side of the bed by Caroline and just stared down at me. They gawked at me like I was some zoo animal that they payed to see. She was close to coming and made sure she voiced that thought many times.

When she when she finally reached completion, she scream Keith's name and thanked him for her orgasm. Nevermind I had done all the work. I sat back on my legs while my head continue to clear its fuzziness. I watched the two of them. The closeness and ease they had. I mean it was clear from the moment she walked in this wasn't some fluke chance. This was a regular occurrence that had been happening for sometime now. All of the memories of my morning came crashing down on me.

Dad and I went out for out morning run. We did it everyday. I cam back to find Keith was gone. I went downstairs to get some breakfast. Paul sat down at my table and we made up. Keith called saying he would met me at the arena. I invited Paul up to the room to talk. We talked with out lips, our tongues, our bodies and our souls. We confessed we loved each other discovered Keith had walked in on us. I told Paul I would meet him at the arena. I made a point to assure him I would be okay. There was nothing to worry about. I could see he was worried but before sending him away I made sure he knew I loved him and I was okay. We have special signals.

That makes me smile. But then it fades when I think about Keith's revelation to me about basically setting Paul and I to break up. The slight fight we got into that he won. Caroline coming over, the handcuffs, that spanking that sent me over the edge into...into...where had I been? Where did I go? What did I do? Although I was not here mentally, I know I was here physically. I know what happened here and I tried to fight it. Keith used that spanking to get me into the mindspace he wanted. He knew what that spanking would do to me mentally. It would subdue me long enough for him to plant what ever seeds he wanted. He used me again.

"Had fun my dear?" Keith asked whispering in my ear.

I looked around to find Caroline and her things were gone which meant only he and I was in the hotel room.

"Not as much fun as I'm about to have." I answered as elbowed him in the nose sending him to the floor.


	17. Just Rest

**A/N: to the reviews who so awesomely send their love, to th readers who keep coming back for more, and to one married couple who has been "bugging" for this chapter, I give to you the turning point of Stephanie. As always, hope you enjoy :)**

"You son a bitch!" I stand to my feet, thighs burn, butt cheeks burning from the spanking not to mention the sex. My head feels like my hair has been ripped from the roots. My thought process is still a little choppy but it's clearing up faster than I thought it would.

Keith falls back against the wall holding his nose. He checks for blood to see its not bleed yet. I walk over to some clothes that I had intended on dressing in after my sexcapades and shower with Paul. Keith stands up dazed and a little confused.

"What the hell was that for?"

"What was that for? What was that for? That was using me! But only for the use you took out of me today." While he was still in a stunned state I figure here was my chance. Here was my chance to stop hanging with the pups and start pissing with the big boys. I walked directly up to Keith punching him in his face as hard as I could. I anticipated a rush of fear and fright when Keith understood what I had in mind but that never came. But what overtook me was four years of pain I'd had in my life caused by him. The pain of losing so many people I loved.

The first was Paul. He conspired against my relationship with. He fooled not only Paul into thinking he wasn't good enough but me too. He made me think he was the better choice. He was never supportive of my friendship with Paul after the breakup either. He said he couldn't understand how we stayed friends after he disrespected me. It was just the love I had for him. I just couldn't cut Paul loose. That was until he and I got into the argument over our breakup. I didn't talk to him for a year.

A whole year.  
>52 weeks.<br>365 days.  
>8760 hours.<br>525,600 minutes.  
>31,536,000 seconds.<p>

I was without my best friend and my only true friend outside of my family that I trusted with my whole heart. He took that away from me.

My family. He took the love and support that I could look for in them. He turned me and my Dad against each other. He bitched and complained about work when he knows this is a family business. The business can't be ran without the family. My relationship with my Dad, my Mom, with Shane and Marissa suffered. I no longer could call any of them right away if I needed them. There was just to much hurt and damage caused. We are slowly getting back to where we were but for the longest i didn't have they at my side.

And how could I forget Nathan. My sweet baby boy. I will never know what life he could have had. I would never meet any of his girlfriends or sending him way to college or pay for a wedding or being a grandmother to his children. That was all taken away from me. I will never know the love that I know he has for me. I will never...

And finally he took away the true me. He took the care free, open, loving spirit and confined her into an asylum. He then took that girl and ripped away everything that defined her. He beat her, he misused, mistreated and undermined her. He pushed her to a point of confusion. He masked his true identity from her thus throwing off who she was in him. He used her faith, her beliefs in marriage against her. Took love, honor and obeying to on a totally different meaning in his dictionary. He shaped and molded this beautiful, fearless, life craving woman into a scared, abused, untrusting, confused little girl into exactly what he wish he was not in his heart. He need this prototype of a woman to show he was the stronger of the two. A woman who was strong enough to lose herself in him but still not weak enough to completely breakdown into nothingness. And that's who I am. I'm strong am I'm bigger that what Keith says I am. I may need someone to help me fight my battle down the road but I can start it all on my own.

I slipped the belt from his pants and thought about all the times that very belt had graced my skin. All the marks and lashes that was left in the wake. I strike Keith on his inner thigh. He instantly grabs his leg and pulls it into his body.

"Doesn't matter what you grab to me. You'll always leave something exposed." I strike his lower back where his kidneys are. He lets go of his leg and grabs his back yelling trying to protect it.

"Please Stephanie, please stop."

"Did you stop when I begged and pleaded? Did you stop when I was to tired and hoarse to even ask?" I swing quicker. Any part of his body that's not being covered has a bulls eye on it. He screams and moan and begs for me stop. The more he talks the more force I put behind my swings. "Bastard!" I yell with the last stroke letting the belt go. I look down at him. Crying like the bitch he was. I kick him in his stomach one more time for good measure.

"You are truly nothing to me. I wish I never met you. Being dead would be better received than being married to you. I said gathering my things into my luggage. I zipped the bag just as I finish saying my peace.

"That can be arranged." He said as he slips his arms around my neck. I scratch and claw at his arms. "You thought what you did would be enough to keep me down? All you have honestly did was piss me off." His hand went around my throat as he shoved me hard against the door to the bedroom. His hands are so tight around my neck. He has this sick and demented grin on his face as I slowly lose my fight. I raise my knee trying low blow him again but he sees. He catches my leg right before it makes contact. He pushes me flush against the door with more weight on my throat. I hear a light pop and a crushing feeling in my throat. My eyes start to water, my ears burn and pop. I'm fading and I fear I won't wake up this time. He leans back extending both his arms applying pressure. My left arm rises up and break the hold at the elbow, tucking his arms underneath mine and introducing his face to my kneecap. He falls to the ground on his back as I fall to my knees. Air. Air. I need air. I suck in as much as I can but start to move. I have to at least get out of the hotel room. I crawl about two feet when I feel a hand on my ankle and a growl.

"You really should not have done that."

He pulls me across the floor back to him. My chin scrapes against the carpet burning me. I turned onto my side bring my hands up to protect my head and face think that where he would go but he didn't. He brought his knee up and banged into my ribs over and over and over and over. I lost count after twelve. I gasp for air through my tortured throat for my body. It's in spurts but it well needed oxygen. He flopped me over straddling my waist. He snaked his arm around my head picking it up off the ground.

"What the fuck is your problem?" He yelled as he punched me. My head fell from his arm to the floor with a hard thud.

We rolled around on the floor trying to get the upper hand. I was able to pin him to the ground. I drove my knee repeatedly in to his side and back. I also took my elbow and brought it down right in the center of the back of his head. He pushed me against the bed while hooking my legs against his body. He picked me up but I used his own moment and dropped back onto the bed making him hit his head on the nightstand. So a DDT really does work? If I get out of here, I'll have to thank Paul for showing me that.

I scrambled to my feet as fast as I could trying to get away. He made it up also shoving me into the dresser. I moan out in pain trying to breathe through the pain. He turned me around and punched me again to the ground. I laid still. My jaw, my jaw. Tears burned my eyelids as the pain vibrated throughout my face. It hurt so bad. I have never felt a physically pain like this before.

Keith lift me up by my hair, smiled then punched me in the exactly same spot. I look up to Keith from the floor. He is trying to hurt me.

"Keith, please. Just stop." I plead.

"Why should I?" He ask kicking me in my side. I rollover trying to protect my stomach. "Why should I stop? You attacked me!" He kicked me in my back sounding it off throughout the room. He straddles me again and goes to town on my face and upper torso. Halfway through the onslaught of punched and slap, I feel a slight crack. I just and try to move away. I squirm and try to get away but Keith has a hold on me I can't break. He grabs my hair and swings his foot as far back as he can then sends a thunderous kick to my ribs. He lets go of me as I crumble to the ground.

"What happen to all that zest, all the zeal you had earlier?" He ask.

I just lay and exist. My body hurts so much. My face, my ribs, my neck, my throat. It all hurts. My knees, my back, my feet, my brain. It just all hurts. I can't think about an escape route, I can't think about anything. The pain is so blinding I can't see. 

"Mommy?" I turn to see Nathan sitting next to me. He has a worried look on his face but it is still calm.

"Nathan, baby? What...what are you doing here?"

"I have to make sure you're okay. I can't just leave you."

"Baby, you can't be here. I appreciate you being here but I can't have you in danger. I won't let him hurt you again."

Nathan smiled and swiped the hair out of my face. "People love you, Mommy. You should have went shopping. But it's okay. You'll go soon enough."

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"Shh. Just rest." 

"Surely I could not have knocked you out already. Wake up, Stephanie."

My eyes snap open. Wait. What was- Wasn't Nathan just here? Keith picked my up and tossed me on the bed. He straddled me again smiling maliciously. His finger tips grazed my face and chest. They snaked back to my neck and paused. He pressed into my neck with a choke hold. I cough and sputter as I scratch and claw at his hands. I'm positive Nathan gave me advice on how to get out of this situation So I did what he told me to: I closed my eyes and relaxed. I just wanted to rest.


	18. Or Part Two Of My Killing Spree

**A/N: here's the next installment. I have a movie quoted in this chapter. bonus points to those who can guess what movie it is. hope you enjoy. **

A knock at the door halted Keith's movements. I may have thrown caution to the wind in the heat of the moment but I know when to stay I have had enough. And that the point that I have reached.

"Don't say anything. And I mean anything. Or to quote your favorite movie, Shut the fuck up 'or part two of my killing spree will start on your ass,' got it?" He walked off before sliding on a shirt and cleaning the blood off his face. I may have gotten the worst end of the ass whipping but I got some good licks in. Whoever said wrestling is fake should ask Keith about that theory. He limped out the room into the bathroom warning me again to be quiet. I mean it's not like I was capable of just screaming out anyway. My ribs were shot to hell, My jaw was busted too. It even hurt my brain just to think to much. I try to move my jaw around but stop instantly. It was extended a little but it hurt to bad to move it.

Keith walked through the bedroom and out into the living room. I hear more light knocking before the door opens. I can make out hush tones but they were to far away to be understood. I know Keith is trying to maybe reassure whoever it is every thing's okay or maybe that we were sleeping. That would explain the whispers. I can hear footsteps coming closer but they aren't frantic or with a purpose just causal walk. So clearly whatever Keith is trying to sell, the person ain't buying.

"I just want to tell her something that all. She was suppose to meet me two hours ago to go shopping. I waited for an hour at least then came here to check on her. She never misses our shopping trips."

"She's fine, Linda."

_It's Mom, it's my mom! If I can just get out of the bed and to the door... _

"Linda, she was a little preoccupied earlier and now is sleeping. She is tired. Let her sleep."

_I pulled myself to the floor with a painful fall and a loud thud. I wasn't expect that to be such a hard drop to the ground. _

"What was that?" Linda asked with her voice hitched up a little.

"What was what? I didn't hear anything." Keith said trying to sound cool.

"That thud. I know I heard it. What was that?" Linda asked.

_That's right Mom. The time when you need to be nosey, you are doing a great job. Just keep talking. _

"I didn't hear anything Linda. Beside, this is a hotel. People make noise all the time."

There was a pause.

_No Mom please don't believe him. Just wait a few more moments. I so close to the door. Please..._

"Okay..." Mom said as if she was unsure.

_Please Mom, just stall him until I can get to the door. I'm so tired but I have to keep going. I have to make it to the door. _

"So, she is fine. Shes alright?"

_No, Mom I'm not. Don't believe him please. _

"Yes ma'am. You have my word."

"Well, okay. Can you umm let her know I came-" They start to walk away. I rattle the door as much as I can before gaining enough strength to reach the handle and rattle it even more trying to grip it to open it.

"What is that?" Linda asked turning around.

"Hmm?" Keith asked getting nervous.

"That noise I know came from the bedroom. She must be up." Linda said getting closer. She pushed the door open hitting me in my already bruised shoulder.

"Oh my God! What did you...What did you do to her? Oh my dear God!" Linda looked to Keith who was now pacing behind her. What did you do to her? I can see Mom swing her fist and Keith.

"Nothing I swear nothing!"

Linda pushed Keith against the wall in the hallway and ran towards the living room then going for the door. I hear the door open...

"Mommy..." I whisper. "Please don't leave me." I'm devastated. She left me here. She left me just like Paul left me the night of the gala.

Keith looked down at me with a snarl. "I told you not to say anything." He screamed

"I didn't. I rattled a doorknob." I whispered smiling. "I didn't have to say a thing."

"And when I finish with you, you won't say anything else." He stepped toward me as the hotel room door is nearly busted of the hinges causing a lot of commotion. I slide back from the two bodies fighting in the hallway. I hear yelling and cursing. I hear tables breaking lamps being smashed. More rustling and punches being thrown. It slows down until eventually it stops with someone moaning. The door to the bedroom opens again but more slowly. I see a boyish head full of hair and a worried frown.

"Baby sis? Where are you?

"I'm over here by the dresser, Shane."

He walks over to me, his eyes meeting mines. "What happened?"

I put my head down. "Keith." I answer.

"That's nothing to be ashamed of. Come on, let's get you out of here." He grabs my things that was in the closet and picks me up.

I groan. "Be careful, Shane. I think I broke something."

Shane's face went from strained to pissed. He holds me with one arm and pulls the luggage out with us. When we make it to the living room, Keith is sitting up hold the side of his head. Shane eases me down into a chair next to us. He grabs the luggage and opens the hotel door. "Mom, take this, go down to the car and pull it by the back service exit. No one needs to see Steph like this."

"What about Steph?" Linda asking taking the bag.

"Don't worry I have her. I want her to see this anyway." Shane said as he turned around advancing on Keith. Mom let the door close and she leaves. Keith had small droplets of blood on his shirt that had fallen from his nose and ear. Shane stood over Keith glaring at him as he directed a question to me. "Baby girl? Did he hurt you?"

I just whimper a yes as Shane starts swing on Keith. "You fucker, you don't ever hurt my baby sister. You wanna hit a woman, I'll show you how to hit something." Shane's fisted rained down on Keith and not in one particular area. Shane was swing wildly trying to make the most damage in the least amount of time. Shane kicked and stomped and punched until he fell to his knees in exhaustion. He paused to catch his breath. He slipped into an indian style sitting next to Keith curled up and broken body.

I had never seen Keith so vulnerable. I'm a little ashamed to say it, but I'm happy to see him hurt and broken. He has just a taste of what my life has been like for at least two years now.

"Baby girl, how long has this been going on?"

"It started after Nathan died really heavy."

Shane leaned toward Keith's ear and whispered. "If you wanna make it out of this town alive, you'll keep you're mouth shut about what went down in this room. That goes for what you did to Steph and what I did to you. Now for some reason the cat happens to escape the bag, then for the next three years, I'll beat you like you did her. And just let me say, I've been training in the ring. Don't fuck with me."

Shane pushed himself off the ground, picked me up gently and whispered it was over. He said he would bring me down to Mom but he had some business to attend to. But he would meet us back at our parents house.

I clear my throat at the silence in the study at my parents house. "And now, we are here."


	19. I'm Not Going

**A/N: i'm awesome...you guys are awesome! we are awesome. that is all...**

"And here we are now in the story. I'm free from Keith. You saved me Mommy. You know, I don't remember much of the ride home but I do remember you calling Daddy. I was just so happy that Daddy and I made up. Imagine the awkwardness of having to come home a failure needing help. I never could keep up with the work you gave me. I was constantly away from Keith. I failed as an employee, as a wife and as a mother."

"You would never be a failure to me baby. You did fail your Mom, you didn't fail Keith and you most certainly didn't fail Nathan. I have a confession." Dad said. "I felt you and Keith were not doing well. I started giving you more work to do so you could have some time alone just to yourself or when you needed to travel or stay out on the road longer you could. You and Keith were just like me and your Mom. We hit a patch were we just needed to be apart sometimes. It worked for us so I thought it would work for you. But Keith came to me begging me to reduce your days. He was saying you were getting sick and was tired all the time. Just all in all, your health wasn't keeping up with your fast pace living. I thought about how your health had been up until that talk and noticed you had been complaining of body aches or calling in saying you were sick. I agreed with Keith and started sending you home. If anything I failed you baby girl."

"No you didn't." I whisper quietly. "We just had a misunderstanding all around."

"Now on to more pressing business that I know you are somewhat okay. Where the hell is that some of bitch?" Dad ask viscously. It still amazes me how he cal go from calm to manic mood in the span of five seconds.

"I don't know. When we all left, Shane told me he was still in the hotel room." Linda answered.

Cupids Chokehold begin to ring throughout the room. "That's Paul." I announce "Can someone please get it? He is worried."

"How do you know he's worried?" Dad asked.

"I told him I would meet him at the arena. I'm not there."

"Oh okay." Vince digs through the bag more trying to find the phone when it stops ringing. "You want me to keep looking?"

"Yes, I need to talk to him."

The doorbells rings just as I was calling Paul back.

"You two stay here. I'll get the door." Linda nods her head rubbing my hand.

"Please tell me you're okay?" Paul said answering the call.

"I am."

"Thank God. I got a call from Shane telling me to get my bag and meet him outside the arena saying he had to take me somewhere. Then as I'm walking out I here Kevin Dunn say you're not coming in and Vince may not either. God, my heart dropped I just knew you were..."

"Gone." Paul said walking into the room out of breath.

I turn around to see Paul standing in the doorway with Shane. I wave him to me and burst into tears on his shoulder.

"Please don't leave me ever again." I cry. "Please."

"I won't. Trust me baby. Why are you whispering?"

"Its umm a long story Paul. Maybe I can tell it to you on the way to the hospital." Linda saying rising to her feet grabbing her purse.

"Hospital? I'm not going to any hospital." I say shaking my head.

"Baby sis? Have you seen yourself? I have. You do not look good. And from the way that hotel room looked, I know you are not well physically." Shane stepped in adding his comments.

"Wait what? What's going on? What happen?" Paul looks around the room for answers but no one is offering.

"Steph?" Paul asked pulling completely away from me. I feel his eyes barring into me, into my soul. I used to experience that a lot with Keith but the difference here is I know I'm safe with Paul. "Steph baby? What happened?"

Could I tell him? Should I tell him? He doesn't know what ive been through and all the crape ive found out about. He doesn't know that I know Keith used us. "Can you guys hive us a second please?" I ask quietly.

"Sure babygirl. Take your time. We'll be in the living room. When you finish your talk we're taking you to the hospital."

"Okay daddy." I answer as Paul shakes Shane's hand in thanks for alerting him.

When we are alone, Paul scoots back over towards me. "What was Shane talking about when he said you were in bad shape? What happened baby?"

Coming to the conclusion I couldn't hold this off any more, I decide to take off my hood to show him my face. I planned on making eye contact with him so he could see the scent of my injuries. However I didn't make it further than removing the hood. He gasped and slightly jumped away. Although I had not seen my face in a mirror yet, I could only imagine. J knew what hurt on me and what I was subject to so I could do more than imagine. All I had to do was relie on memory.

"Keith...Keith..." His eyes watering as they shift from my right eye to my left eye over and over. As the seconds pass I can see that hopeful glint, that hopeful thought that maybe Keith had not done anything to me, just fade away. The realization hit him and he broke down.

"Yea. He did." I answer. I try to be strong in front of him. My parents had been there for me as I told them the story and relived it. Someone had to be there for him now. He picked me up going over to the lounge area that was connected to the study. We sat on the couch pulling me into his lap. He just held me. He didn't expect me to speak or to explain or to apologize, he just wanted to be there for me.

After some time pasted, he cleared his throat and spoke. "It hit you, didn't he? That bastard hit you."

I could feel him literally shake with anger. My hand slowly rises to his face and rubs it sweetly. "Yea. But I got in a few good hits. And so did Shane. I did a DDT on him. I fell back on the bed but he hit his head on the nightstand."

"I'm glad I taught you so moves then. You could at least defend yourself pretty good huh? I put my head down and just rest it against his chest. "What are these marks on the back of your neck. Did he bite you?"

"No..."

"What happened? Those are bite marks Steph. I can see the individual teeth imprints." He unzipped the jacket I was wearing and slid it slowly off of me pausing when I need to stop from the pain. "Steph, it's all on the back of your arm too. Is this hand prints around your neck? What are these marks on your back? My God, Steph please talk to me!"

"He used me. He...It's a long story but he made me have sex with him. And he..."

"He bit you and choked you will doing that?!"

"No, he choked me before and after."

"Okay, we ware the bite marks from?"

"Caroline."

"Who the fuck is that?"

"I have a lot to tell you. Keith told me a lot of stuff this morning but I can get into it now. It's just too much..It.."

"It's okay baby. Just tell me what you can."

I lift my eyes to his, "Baby?" I ask.

"No matter what douche bag you have been married to, you've always been mine."

"I'm so sorry I stop talking to you last year."

"It's okay. We talked about that. Now,, who's this bitch that bit you?"

"You remember the girl that came on to you at teh gala? Keith talked her into that. You didn't find her, she found you. Keith was having an affair with her. For how long, I'm not sure. He..he made me have a threesome with her. It felt like i had done it before but I don't remember. I would NEVER agree to such a thing. But it was just stuff she was saying to me and kinda hinting that she had me before but you Paul...I wouldn't I wouldn't do that I'm not...I'm not that kind of girl I was married and she just had no probably just make me touch her and -"

"Shhh. You're rambling baby. Don't worry about of that. We will talk about it in time."

He just held me while I cried. Finally I didn't have to hold back this tainted secret. I didn't have to keep everyone in the dark about what my life wad truly like. I didn't have to live this grand lie anymore. I could be me and being me sound hella good right now.


	20. All In All It Was A Good Day

My eyes open to a semi dark room with white walls and the smell of disinfectants. Although I'm not in so much pain anymore, it's still a dull constant reminder of my horrid ordeal. I sudden panic not wanting to be alone. What if he...what if he came looking for me?

"He's not coming for you baby."

I turn toward the voice to see Paul standing by the window. I slight shadow cast across his face from the t.v. and the lights outside the window. His hair was hanging loose over his shoulders. I noticed he'd changed his clothes as well.

"How are you so sure? You don't know Keith like I do. He told me if anyone ever found out he-"

"I talked to him personally. He and I have a very good understanding with each other." He walked over and picking up a stack of papers off the window sill on the way. "Your Dad, Shane, the attorneys and I have read this and decided it is perfect. If you feel up to it now, I can let you take a look."

I sit up slowly noting my midsection was now tightly wrapped but not affecting me as it once was. My face didn't hurt as bad but my jaw was a little stiff. My hands and arms were scratched a little but I would live. My back and butt however was just as tender as it was before. Paul turns the light over my bed on. I can now see my surroundings better. The private hospital room is nice enough I guess. The bed seems extremely too large for me. Paul standing in front of a rather large and comfortable looking couch.

"I know you may not remember much. You have been in and out for a while now. Exhaustion, mental distress not to mention your physical ailments."

"How long have I been here?"

"Two weeks. Things have been a little strained for everyone. Your Mom and Dad are at the hotel resting. The media caught wind of your hospital admission."

"How did they find out?"

"Some random fan was in the waiting room when we brought you in. Took a picture, reported it to a website. The news channels picked it up. Not to mention, the website has been overloaded with question about your health."

"How has Dad handled it? Anything about Keith getting out?"

"Nope. As far as anyone knows right now, you are physically and mentally exhausted and that is the cause of your hospital stay. No one but your Mom, Dad, Shane, Keith, Caroline and I know the truth."

"Caroline. Someone has to get to her and-"

"Don't worry about that. I went to handle the situation but apparently her husband has been following her around. Let's just say, you are the least of Caroline's worries." He laugh.

I laugh as well. "My night in shining armor. You went and handled everything for me."

"Yep. Which leads me back to these." Paul hands me the stack of papers and a pen. I glance over them but quickly lift me head with watery eyes.

"How did you get these?"

"Persuasion and pain." He answerers holding up both his fist. "As you can see, Keith has signed already and all it needs is your signature. Your marriage to him is over. You are free and clear from him."

I glance over the clauses briefly. He can't contact me, he can't make any statements about me. He leaves the relationship with nothing more than what he came into it with. The houses and everything in them are mine. The cars, the jewelry. Everything is mine.

"And also for some reason, he submitted his resignation stating he was offered a job outside the states. Austria or somewhere."

I narrow my eyes to Paul in thought. "You beat him to a bloody pulp until he signed these papers, and agreed to leave the country."

"You know me so well." Paul said smiling. "He has a hard head though. I broke my hand, but it's healing fast. I'll be back in the ring in now time."

"How do you even know he left? And if he will stay gone?"

"Your Dad, Shane and I brought him personally to the airport a week ago. He knows what will happen if he ever sets foot in the United States again. Trust me, Steph. He is gone for good."

I smile and lay back onto my pillow. "Can you cut the light off?"

"I sure can." He answers already in the process of flipping the switch.

"Will Dad and Mom be back?"

"Yea. They'll be back tomorrow. I sent them home for the night. They needed the rest. Your Mom and lived in this room since we brought you here."

"Okay. I can't wait to see them and I wanted to ask Dad his opinion on the divorce papers." I pause getting comfortable. "Are you staying with me?"

"Absolutely. I have spent every night here with you since we brought you here." He points to the couch and I can see a pillow and comforter placed neatly in the corner.

"Will you sleep in the bed with me? I think it's big enough for both of us."

He smirks devilishly only the way he can, while nodding. "I've wanted nothing more than to lay next to you."

He kicks his shoes off, lifting his shirt over his head and dropping his pants. He adjusted the basketball shorts from falling and climbed into the bed behind me.

"Just rest. You're going home tomorrow and I'm never letting you go again." I hear just before I fall back into the deep sleep I came out of earlier.

******************************

_"Mommy, come play with me." I smile walking out of the kitchen with a plate of chocolate chip and white Macadamia Nut cookies._

_"Hmm, I don't know if I wanna play with my cute son or eat some cookies outside by the pool."_

_"Yummy cookies!" Nathan drops his game controller on the pillow that occupied a space infringe of the Tv. He jumps up running to me before I could even set foot into the living room. He meets me in the door way taking my hand and leading me outside to the chairs and table situated next to the pool. I place the cookies down on the table, letting Nathan dive into them. _

_"Don't even think about touching my cookies mister. You stick with your chocolate cookies." I playful scold him. _

_I grab a white Macadamia Nut cookie and gaze toward the sky. It was warm and sunny out today. Not a cloud in the sky just leaving us with a beautiful blue open expanse over us. It was quiet and I expected that. Nathan wasn't a big talker when cookies were in his presence. It's so peaceful out here._

_Did I do something wrong in my life to have it so tough? Maybe it was my fault Keith and I didn't make it even though Daddy said it wasn't. I mean who wants to tell their child that they failed at life. It was my fault I went and partied with Paul and the rest of DX that night. Daddy said have a good time. A night on the town on him. Another one of his moments when I was handed his black AmEx card. He probably had a small elephant when that bill came in._

_But maybe I'm just weak in Keith's eyes. I mean he had to see me as nothing but weak. I let a man abuse me, humiliate me. I had sex with another woman because he made me. But he made me that way. I'm never going to be the same again. He has literally scarred me for life. I'll always have the memories of my failed marriage to Keith. The worst part of the deal is everyone else will know I failed too._

_"You didn't fail."_

_I came out of my inner thoughts and looked over to Nathan who had a face full of chocolate and a few suspicious white crumbs on his face too. "What did you say baby?"_

_"You didn't do anything wrong. You were young and just wanted to have a good time. If anything Daddy should have trusted you even if you were naughty." He said with a sniggle._

_"And just what did I do that was naughty mister?" I asked turning toward him._

_"Something. But that's okay too. It'll work itself out in the end."_

_My eyebrows crinkled confuse. "Okay." I said unsure. I was turning back around in my chair to reach for a cookie when a green blur past in front of me._

_"Cannonball!" He screamed jumping into the pool throwing water everywhere. I managed to move the cookies out the way but that left me drenched. I turned with the cookies in one hand and my other hand on my hip._

_A head perked up from the water and Nathan fell into a fit of giggles. "Don't try to hide now Paul, Mommy has seen you and she is mad." He grabbed another cookie and walked to the edge of the pool._

_Paul stood up grabbing Nathan to pull in front of him. "Nathan save me from your Mommy."_

_I laugh at the site in front of me. "Paul 1. Don't drop my child. 2. How did you get in my house?"_

_"A new training that I'm trying out."_

_"Oh really is it call breaking and entering or 5 to 10 year stretch?"_

_He sticks his tongue out at me. Neither. I'm a ninja!"_

_"No, you're not." I answer._

_"Did you just see that?"_

_"See what?"_

_"Exactly." We fall out laughing. Paul walks over to the edge and sits Nathan on the side of the pool._

_"Mommy, can I-"_

_"Yes, go and put on your swim trunks."_

_"Yes! Nathan screams running off._

_"You know, you could throw on that sexy two piece number and get in here too. I would welcome the company."_

_"Just wait soon enough, Nathan will be all the company you can handle."_

_"I was think more of the adult form."_

_I stand grabbing another cookie, what could it hurt? I walk back in to the deciding just which swimsuit to put on._

_****************************_

_"Cannonball!" I hear Nathan scream at the pool. I walk onto the balcony in my bikini top but still my jeans. I spy Nathan and Paul play basketball. Paul obviously letting Nathan win. I smile. That what a family should be like. Not your son dead and husband and wife fighting. I walk back into my room to finish changing so I can have fun too. _

_When I walk down stairs, I smell food and I hear more voices. I walk out to the pool to see my family all here. My mom and Marissa sat in the edge of the pool with their feet dangling. Dad, Shane, Paul and Nathan sitting on Paul's shoulder are crowded around the barbecue pit._

_"Now here I was think I would have a quiet evening with my son and all these other people keep show up."_

_They all turn around to greet me with a smile or a hey!_

_"Sweetie, your stomach area is looking pretty tight. Have you been working out?"_

_"Wow Mom thanks. I didn't know you thought I had a humongous gut before."_

_"That's not what I meant dear."_

_I laugh as Paul walks up and puts hus arm on my shoulder. "Well I'm not trying to toot my own horn but I have been accompanying her to the gym."_

_I roll my eyes. "Be careful Paul. Even standing outside I don't think there is enough room for that ego of yours."_

_"Paul can you hold me?" Nathan asked tapping Paul on his head._

_"I sure can buddy. I have to something really quick though." He passed Nathan to Shane and picked me up over his shoulder._

_"Paul don't you dare! Don't-" SPLASH! Paul jumps into the deepest end of the pool with me over his shoulder. I swim to the wall coming up gasping for air while everyone laughed. "That. Was. Not. Funny." I stare coldly as Paul. _

_He walks over to me in the pool and hugs me from behind. "I'm sorry. It was funny. I had to."_

_Nathan walked up to the edge of the pool where we were standing. "Paul, you may be Mommy's friend but I'll still beat you up and kick you out if you're gonna be a meanie."_

_We laugh and I grab Nathan and dunk him in the pool too. When he comes back up, he crawls up Paul torso and sits on his shoulders laughing. _

_All in all, it has been a good day. _


	21. Dreaming Reality or Is Reality The Dream

**A/N: Well, this has been one hell of a ride. I have truly enjoyed myself and I hope you can say the same. I hope this ties up the loose end that were still hanging out there. Do we get a happy ending or a bad ending? Well what are you waiting for? read the story! lol**

The bed moved next to me and woke me instantly. I was suppose to be the only one here. I bolt up out of bed.

The dream Stephanie eased further on the bed "Sorry Steph. I was trying to wake you without give you a heart attack."

I answer back, It's okay umm..Stephanie is it? I'm really not sure and it just honestly confuses the hell out of me."

"Yep. I'm Stephanie and you're Steph. I'm the straight lace everyone wants you to be and you're who you want to be. That why I have the stuffy business name and you have the cool nickname."

"Hmm." I stare at her. She appears not to have any marks on her face. Well, well that ain't fair. "Why don't you have any bruises?" I ask.

"I find that I'm not need much these days. Like I said Steph, I'm the one who is everything everyone wants you to be. You have been taking care of business all by yourself. Is it that hard to comprehend?" She asked laughing.

"Oh yea. You did just say that." I said as I laugh. "It's all so..."

"Confusing?" she answers.

"Yea just a little. I just don't understand." I frown.

"Not really. Think of it this way, I want to do all the stiff you flat out hate to do. Getting calls at 2 in the morning to work on a script, Keith and his overbearing ways, the perfect wife who forgives and forgets. I was just here because you couldn't do everything. And when you checked out, i checked in."

"But I don't remember any of that. I don't remember checking out."

"Are you sure? Or is it just the small details that may have seemed off but you didn't give any thought to it."

I think back over the years. "I'm coming up a total blank Stephanie. You have to help me out."

"Ok umm what about when you and Paul broke up."

"Yea, I was at his house yelling at him then the next thing I remembered was getting ready for a date with Keith." She smiles at me. "Wait, you took over my life. How could you?"

"What do you mean how could I? I helped when you needed it. What about when you would go to sleep with bruises but wake up fine? The pretty fresh face you were used yo seeing?" She asked.

"I thought I dreamed..."

Stephanie bows towards me. "I did that. I stepped in for you. I didn't do anything that hurt you. I just did what you didn't want to do."

"I'm sorry, Stephanie. You should have to live a part time life. I'm so sorry."

"Hey it's no problem. I am you and you are me, remember? So you did clear the air with everyone right?" She asked cautiously.

"Yep. With the support of my parents and-sorry still getting used to it. With the help of Mom and Dad, I'm divorcing Keith. I found my strength finally."

"What about Paul?"

"He and I are taking it slow...really slow. We just have a lot of air to clear and hurt feelings to get off of out chest.

_"That's what you think." Stephanie said under her breath._ She cleared her throat., "Thats good. That was the point of this dream world. Just to get you in a better state of mind."

We sit in silence as I think over the last few years of my life. "Stephanie, I never asked you want you wanted. I've always been so selfish and worried about myself."

"Honestly I like Paul. Look at it this way, the same outlook you have is the same ones I have. The only difference between you and I are our willingness to bend at other's wants and desires. You deserve him, Steph. Keith didn't deserve you. None of this was your fault."

"I know. I talk to Nathan. Matter of fact, I was dreaming about Nathan and Paul and my family just before."

"You did?" stephanie asked.

"Yep. Nathan is perfect. He's a Zach Ryder fan. Spiked hair, purple headband...everything."

"Really? Who would have thought?" Stephanie asked amused. I though he would be a Triple H fan."

"You would think so. Paul was my best friend back then. Can you explain more of how we share a life if we are never in the same place at the same time.""

"I am you and you are me. Wherever you are, I'm right there with you. Think of it as two personality traits that you have. I told you before I'm everything that everyone wants you to be. Keith can make you into his submissive wife, even if he has to beat it out of you. But you just can't handle being in that position. When you are in that submissive state, I'm the one he sees. I'm just a different part of you."

Now that strikes my interest, "So tell me this, how many people have you slept with in my body?"

"Our body Stephanie. We are one in the same. But to answer you question, I'm really not sure. Mostly after every spanking in the beginning. Then when you wouldn't go into submission so easily, after some of the fight where he didn't rough you up to bad. And if any of the guys asked about marks or bruises, he tells them you're into that kind of stuff." I gawked at her. "Don't look at me as the bad guy. I'm the bad you. Believe it or not Keith as a part of himself that wants to make everyone happy. Who do you think has been around for the last year? No beatings, no spankings, sweet passionate love making. Breakfast in bed, rose delivered to you no matter what town you were in..."

"Okay okay I get it. But he snapped every once in a while."

"That was his stronger side trying to reclaim he power. He may have shown up for a second but it wasn't enough to take back over."

"So what sent him over the edge." I asked leaning into her.

"Take a wild guess Steph." She asked dryly.

"Me in bed with Paul." I answer...

"Ding ding ding! We have a winner. That and well, Keith knew things you didn't."

"Keith knew? What are you-" I paused, "Wait, you bitch! You knew all of this and didn't save me?"

"Save you front what. It was me who did it remember?"

"Yea but what happen to all that I am you are you are me bull? You knew what he was doing and you went along with it."

"What was I suppose to do Steph? Just leave him then have you wonder what was going on when you came back. You would have went back begging for forgiveness then he spank you and the whole thing starts again. I didn't think you would ever be strong enough to fight me when I tried to slip in you place. With the spanking, it's an easy transition. But this time, you didn't want it that way. You fought me to the point where you kinda tired yourself out. I stepped in but then toward the end you were coming back. i tried to hold you off but you were to strong. Thus waking up in you state of confusion."

"So, you were just trying to save me?"

"Yes. I wouldn't hurt myself. That's crazy. But you really have to start think of me as you just sweet, nicer with a non sailor mouth." Stephanie said laughing.

"So tell me this, if we are both here talking now, where are we collectively? Did I just confuse you?" I ask laughing.

"No you didn't. You're asking if we are talking, what's going on with our body. We're sleeping in the bed at home. The same place you were before we started talking. Safe from Keith. We won't have to worry about him anymore, trust me."

"I don't think that's true. This whole nightmare, I don't think I or anyone else will ever forget."

"You'd be surprise what the mind can do Steph."

I get up and walk around to her. "You know your like the sister I always wanted."

She chuckles. "Well what can I say? I am awesome!"

I hug her tighter. "Well I guess you better get going. Maybe you'll come and visit once in a while?" I ask with a hopeful voice.

"I will. Trust me. I plan on being closer than you think." I hug her again. "Now go get in bed and sleep. With all the excitement I'm sure you're planning already, you'll need it."

"You know me so well" I answer as I walk around the bed.

"Bye." She waves and walks into the bathroom.

I lay back in the bed under the covers and just stare at the ceiling. Things will be hard for a while but I'm stronger from them. I won't let anyone push me around anymore. With the help of my family and Paul, I'll be alright.

"Hey baby?" I look up and see Paul standing at the door. "Who ya talking to?" I look at that dimpled grin.

"An old friend."

"Oh okay." He answered looking around the empty room.

"Mommy!" A little voice screams. Nathan runs into the room.

"Hey my baby boy." He dives in the bed as Paul dives in right behind him getting under the cover. "Well, I see where you get you're bad habits from little man. Is Paul a bad influence on you?"

His little eyebrows crinkle. "Paul? Who's that?" I stare at him.

"Paul? Mommy's friend?" I say as I point to Paul. Am I imagining things?

He turns and laughs. "You mean daddy?" I look at Paul baffled?

"Honey, are you okay?"

I look around and take in the room again. I stand up and look an different things. things that weren't here before. Pictures of paul, Nathan and I. Paul in the delivery room instead of Keith. Wait how is Nathan even here right now? He died ...years ago. The house, while it's the same one that I shared with Keith, it's slightly different like something Paul and I would pick out together. I walk to the balcony and see the lake and woods that surround the house. That wasn't in the dream world when I cam here. My eyebrow crinkle together. I am confused as hell. I walk back into the bedroom with Nathan and Paul still laying on the bed now holding a conversation about the new Zach Ryder shirt. I look into the mirror and see my reflection. Damn, I am losing it.

But then suddenly, I see the dream Stephanie appear behind me almost hollow, like a ghost. She merged into me and I smile. She is apart of me. I get the best of both worlds. I get the man of my dreams and my son and the home and life I wanted. I knew for the first time in my life since Paul and I broke up, we wou..d be okay and we would make it.

"Honey, are you okay?"

"Um, yea I'm fine." I answer as I turn to look at Paul. I look back at Nathan and smile. He is so handsome. I look at his facial features, he looks the same as he did when I played when him the first time I was in the dream world. But something is just oddly familiar about him. I thought the same thing when I saw him the first...oh my God! The dimples shine through as Nathan smirks at me. I finally get it. Oh my god! Daddy...his DADDY.

_God tends to part knowledge on those who seek it._ _You were young and just wanted to have a good time...even if you were naughty. _I remember Nathan saying.

_Keith knew things you didn't._ I remember the dream Stephanie saying.

Nathan knew all this time. He knew Paul was his Daddy. And so did Keith. That's why Keith turned himself off to Nathan. But how could that have happened when I didn't sleep with Paul. As if I was asking for it, a flashback from the Run DMC video shoot came to mind. We were drink partying, having a good time. Paul and I went out separate from the rest of DX and ended up sleeping together but I woke up at home with Keith. Stephanie. She took us home. I walk back to the bed and lay back on Paul's arm with Nathan between us. It was quiet until Paul turned over and asked a question.

"Hey babe?" I turned over and faced him when a grin. Nathan was sleeping tucked into my side. That was honestly the best feeling ever. "When you got out of bed and walked to the balcony just now, you said something about Keith. Who is that?"

"Keith. Keith is they guy who-" I who is Keith. I had such a negative thought about him when Paul said his name but I can't place him anywhere. "You know baby it was on the tip of my tongue but it escapes me...I haven't a clue who he is." My eyebrows crinkle more as I try to remember. The more I try the more the thought flees.

"Hmm, it's okay. Must not be that important of a guy if you cant remember." He says laughing.

"Yea. I guess. Oh well. Fancy a nap with me and Nathan?"

"I always have and I always will."

So, was dreaming reality or was reality the dream?


	22. This Is ItThis Is Life

Okay guys, this is the last chapter of this story. i hope I have done it justice. :) This story is set YEARS ahead :) Enjoy!

Stephanie was seated at her mahogany oak desk in her office at Titan Towers on a Friday. She glances at her clock noting it's only 1:30. Granted, she only had 3 and a half hours left, it has just been a long day. She gazed upon little Natasha, her one year old. She looks just her daddy already. She didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing but she would make that decision later. By later, she meant when she had her next baby. And by the looks of it, that would be sooner rather than later. She backed away from the desk, standing to her feet unsteadily. She placed her palms on the desk and leans over. _I think I stood up to fast. Just a little dizzy. Just take a deep breath._ Removing one hand from the desk, she rubs her back and sighs. _This baby is killing me! When she isn't sitting in my back, she's kicking my ribs._ She straightens up reaching for her business suit jacket, grabbing her keys and cell phone. She disposed of her purse in the basket under the stroller. She hated to move Natasha. She was such a light sleeper. She slowly picked the sleeping baby up and added her to the stroller. _Time for a road trip. Let's see want Poppi is up too."_ As usually these days, Steph was hungry. And her Dad always had the best stuff hid in his desk for her. Her husband usually had some good stuff to but lately only really healthy stuff. Right now, she craved something sinfully delicious and a balance bar wasn't going to cut it. Something else that she had gotten used to was the oohs and ahhs as she passed. Natasha was enough to stare at because of her looks. But with her belly sticking out almost as far as her arms, the picture was just adorable.

"Knock Knock Daddy." Steph said as she walked in. She immediately halted all actions while her eye processed the sight in front of her. "Dad. Dad. Dad!" She finally screamed.

Vince turned around with a guilty look on his face. " Umm Hey babygirl. What are you doing all the way on this side of the building?"

"Dad, you office is on the same floor as mine. What are you two doing?"

"Well, you see sweetheart, we..." Vince turned to his partner in crime whispering, "You wanna help me out here? I'm drowning."

Steph shifted her eyes to the other person. "Well?"

"Mom, don't flip out. We were just playing around. Trying to have a little fun."

"And there lies in the problem, Nathan. You are on punishment. That's why I sent you in here with Poppi. You are not to have fun. You are to work for the next three days. I don't want you to skateboard. I don't want you to watch tv. I don't want you to play video games. I don't want you on your phone. I don't want you outside the house. I don't want you wrestling in here with Poppi. That is not what punishment is about. I don't want you to go to Summerslam this weekend either."

"But Mom!"

"Calm down. You have Poppi, Memaw and Dad to thank. They were the ones who talked me into letting you go. If I was not pregnant, I would light a fire under your ass right now..."

"I'm really sorry Mom. I didn't mean to get in trouble and disobey you."

"I know Nathan. And I forgive you baby." Steph said walking closer to Nathan to give him a reassuring hug and kiss to the forehead. "But that still does not change the fact that you are suspended from school for three days."

"I know Mom. I better get back to work huh?"

"That would be smart." She laughed. "Now Dad, what I want from you is to give Nathan the most mundane work that you can find. Anything that you need done that he is able to do, should be assigned to him. He is suspended from school not on summer vacation."

"Yes, sweetheart. I'm sorry."

"Okay, now what I really came here for. Do you have a snack? Chips? Candy? Soda?" Steph asked with a gleam in her eye.

"No, Steph. I'm cutting you off. You ask me to help you curve your weight gain. If you want a snack, eat an apple or grapes." Vince suggested.

I roll my eyes coupled with a loud and aggravated sigh. "Fine, my husband will happily give into my request for candy. He loves me."

"That's because Dad is scared of you." Nathan whispered under the breath.

"I heard that." I answer over my shoulder walking out of the office.

You know, this is all your fault right?"

"What do you mean?"

"If you had been a better role model for Nathan, he wouldn't be suspend from school for lewd conduct."

"Now how in the world is what Nathan did my fault? The kid is a hell raiser. I've been telling you this for years."

"Hmm, I don't know maybe you're little guy's weekend?"

"Oh, come on Steph! How did that affect anything?"

"The next day he was suspended for three days!"

He smiles at me and a fall in love again. Even though I blame him for Nathan's suspension when he smiles at me like that, my knees go weak. My thought process cease and all I can do is focus on him. He still has a hold on me. He burst in laughter ringing out throughout the office. I frown.

"This is not funny. Our son has a blemish on his school record. He is known as a hoodlum now."

"Babe, the boy was just suspended. He didn't get convicted of a felony." Paul answers still laughing.

"I am serous. Stop laughing."

He stopped laughing with his cheeks puffed out obviously trying not to laugh. But only seconds later, his rich deep laughter rand throughout the office again waking up Natasha. He walked over to the the baby, picking her out of the stroller, rocking her until her tears cleared.

"Steph, I'm sorry. Okay? Maybe me and the guys may have not been on our best behavior but we taught him a lot that weekend."

"Paul, teaching him the "proper way" to perform a crotch chop catapulted the events that led to him get suspended."

"That's not true!"

"He crotched chopped a girl and told her if she started the fire he had the wood to keep it going."

Paul burst into laughter again. "Damn that's a good one if I ever heard one. Shawn is going to love that."

"PAUL!"

"Okay, okay. Fair enough, I'll take the blame for that. I have a present for you."

"Oh yeah? Trying to get back into my good graces?"

"Always." He laid the baby down on the couch. "Close your eyes. And keep them close woman."

I laugh, "You don't have to be so rude about it."

Paul slipped behind Stephanie holding his arms out in front of her.

"Surprise baby. Open your eyes."

It was a long Cartier box.

"Oh. honey!"

"Go ahead and open it.

Slowly Stephanie unties the pretty red, black and purple plaid ribbon. It was so many thing could fit in this box. It could have been a watch or a bracelet but Paul had tricked her once before. He gave her three set of earrings in one long box for their anniversary last year. It was no telling what she would find in her. After she opened the box, her eyes lit up with joy. Stephanie set the box on Paul's desk so she could wrap her arms around him.

"I haven't been able to find these anywhere! How did you? When did you-"

"Your Dad asked me to bring some files into the office that I left at the lake house over the weekend. But the silver lining was I stopped at a store to get gas and there they were. The rest are at home waiting for you. You should take care of it sooner than later."

"Oh trust me, I am so eating this right now."

Stephanie turned and unwrapped the Snickers Ice Cream Bar. Oh the goodness that would soon follow. She knew she could trust her husband to have something for her. She was halfway through the bar when the plan for thanking him came full circle. She couldn't do a lot of things right now because of her expanding belly but several well placed kisses and roaming hands could show how happy she exchanged several kisses before Paul pulled away.

"Babe, aren't you forgetting about something?" Paul asked.

"Oh yea!" Stephanie slide onto the desk, kicking her shoes off, grabbing the other half of the Snickers bar. "I can not let this go to waste by letting it melt."

"Paul laughed, "No I was talked about Natasha. I don't want her to wake up and be scarred for life. She wouldn't be able to hand how her Dada just ravaged her mama. I'm going to go bring her to Linda then...It's going down." Paul whispered into Stephanie's neck.

I smile as I think back on that day. When Paul came back, we made love on top of his desk. My orgasm leading to my water breaking. Paul's face was priceless. If I had a camera... I look around and marval at how amazing its is quiet in my hospital room. My parents finally left about an hour ago, Nathan and Natasha were were on their way up here from school and daycare and Paul left to go see the new baby. Our new babygirl, Jasper LeNae. My life is great.

Working for the family company, meeting Paul getting married, having kids. We love each other so much. I could never see myself loving another man or even thinking about leaving my life. I must have done something right in my past life to get everything my heart could ever want. Either that are I went through absolute hell and God decided to have mercy on me. Either way. My life is perfect.


End file.
